Tag Archives: Treat Yo Self

On The Importance Of Not Liking Things

15 Apr

I don’t like open-toed shoes.

I don’t like sneakers that make my feet look wide.

I don’t like mushrooms.

It hurts to have things between my toes.

It hurts to drink milk.

It hurts to smell coffee.

If you dislike a thing it’s not a promise. It doesn’t mean you’ll never like that thing. It means “I’ll try it again when I’m good and ready, but for now no thanks.”

For something to hurt means “No. Maybe one day if I’m ready, but until then, NO.”

If you dislike something, or are hurt by something, it’s your prerogative to avoid it in the future. No one should make you try to like it before you’re ready.

And if they make you try it then you can spit it out in their hands. You have my permission.

FemaleGazing’s Bona Fide Get-Over-Him Routine, Step 3

13 Apr

Do something you love, or that you’ve always wanted to do! Remind yourself that there are things in this world that you love and enjoy.

See a musical.

Eat a corn dog.

Have a new sexual experience.

Take ibuprofen when you get cramps.

Look at some pictures of Frida Kahlo.

Watch Peeno Noir a dozen times.

Steal a really nice pen from a bank.

Look at pictures of really neat embroidery.

Just treat yourself, ok?

High Maintenance, But Actually Probably Not

29 Dec

One of the guys at work called his girlfriend high maintenance the other day and this tweet was all I could think of.

High maintenance is a great way to make anyone seem like a real drag on your personal resources. And it only gets applied to women in connection with their romantic relationships, giving the distinct impression that romantic relationships with women are a drag.

So shit or get off the pot. Either you’re happy with her and you should stop complaining about the petty stuff or you’re miserable and should take care of your own business by getting out.

No need to slap a label on her, just handle your business.


Be Human, You’re Allowed

22 Dec

I’m gonna be a bitch about this because I have something to say about it.

Sometimes I get mad at people because they did something bad. Sometimes I’m completely in the right for being mad at someone, all the facts back me up, everyone I tell is on my side.

And I’m still afraid to call them out on this thing that we can all agree I’m right about.

Because I’m afraid they’ll call me crazy or say I’m overreacting. It’s really not a big deal and I’m being a bitch about it.

This is a reminder to you and to me that sometimes it’s worth being a bitch about it. Sometimes it’s your culture being appropriated and mocked for profit (which is worth getting upset over). Sometimes it’s betrayal (which is worth getting upset over).

Your feelings are valid and expressing them does not make you crazy or difficult or a burden or high maintenance or a drag to be around. It makes you a human. Congratulations. Be human. It’s not so bad.

Women hear it all the time from men. “You’re overreacting,” we tell them. “Don’t worry about it so much, you’re over-thinking it.” “Don’t be so sensitive.” “Don’t be crazy.” It’s a form of gaslighting — telling women that their feelings are just wrong, that they don’t have the right to feel the way that they do. Minimizing somebody else’s feelings is a way of controlling them. If they no longer trust their own feelings and instincts, they come to rely on someone else to tell them how they’re supposed to feel. [x]



I See You Sia

26 Nov

I’m having a love affair with this song.

When I got to college a bunch of people assumed I was a big party girl. I’m not exactly anti-party. I like to have a good time all around. If you’re having a shindig I can make you can pretty much assume I’m coming. However these people assumed I was the kind of party girl who can’t keep up with everything else in her life the next day. And that offended me, still does.

Here’s to moderately healthy relaxation habits. Even when they look like knitting and drinking whiskey while getting a foot massage in a room full of people. Everyone’s gotta have a thing, right?

Your Relationship, Your Problem

14 Nov

When I was in college I remember talking to a friend of mine and saying “I would never hook up with someone who was already in a relationship. Girl code.”

And he hemmed and hawed and said “If someone else wants to sabotage their relationship, it’s not your problem.”

If someone wants to use you as an excuse to do something, an outlet for a feeling they’re having, it isn’t your responsibility to police their sexuality.

I’ve refrained from hooking up with guys because that desperation to escape their relationship is un-palatable. I’ve refrained because the fear of getting caught in their eyes made me feel like scum. I’ve refrained because it just doesn’t seem worth it.

But in general your relationship is not my problem.

I like giving advice because it’s like a fun puzzle to me in general, but if you’re looking for someone to be the little angel on your shoulder, you should look elsewhere.

Maturing is realizing how many things don’t require your comment.
Rachel Wolchin [x]

Thanks Nicki

12 Nov

I’m working a lot lately and don’t have much time to write but I’m so glad that Nicki is still proud of me.

I do what I have to do. I make my decisions for myself. I try to take other people into account but I also know that no one is gonna look out for me like I am.

And just the fact that I stick to that ideal, I don’t waver on it, means a lot to me. And when I work for 14 hours and then drink and crash into bed, I can still be proud of myself.

Thanks Nicki.