Sex

The Amazon

I got a text last night “Have you heard of the sub-missionary position?”

No.

The next text I got was a link. NSFW (porn gifs).

Turns out that this position isn’t called ‘the sub-missionary,’ it’s called The Amazon, which kind of has all the same connotations only classier.

A quick google search brought up this how-to video about it.

I like this pair’s approach to sex and her appeal to male viewers to open their minds to submission and vulnerability.

I like that miss Glamazon and her partner are clear that there’s a difference between being made to ‘be the girl’ and choosing to be a bit submissive. In a free society submissive and female are not the same thing. So put that in your pipe and think about why it makes you feel awkward.

Bodies, Sexuality

Open Up Or Close Up Shop?

So recently I found the new Suit Supply ad campaign.  Go take a look at it.  It’s not quite safe for work but I’m probably going to put some of the images on here anyway so if that’s a problem for you then email this page to yourself now and look at it later in the safety of your own home.

I’ve found a few sides to this issue though I’m sure there are plenty more.

I pose to you a question.  Does this turn you on?

Just think about it personally for a second and don’t judge yourself.

If you’re a man and this turns you on are you ashamed of it?

If you’re a man and this doesn’t turn you on then does it make you feel ashamed?  For looking at it?  For being such a sadistic asshole man?

If you’re a woman and this turns you on then are you ashamed of it?

If you’re a woman and this doesn’t turn you on then does it make you feel ashamed?  Or embarrassed or offended or grossed out?

The arguments I’ve heard:  Jezebel says this ad campaign is shameless (as it’s titled) and should make you want to close your legs forever.  It’s telling men that if they wear expensive suits women will drop naked at their feet.

Sociological Images says that the biggest issue in this campaign is the power the men gain from showing their disinterest in the women who throw themselves at the pinstripe wearers.  This idea is something I’ve tried to touch on before.

Violet Blue says it’s hot.  She says it appeals to and normalizes the dom/sub community.  She says that Jezebel shouldn’t tell her it’s wrong to be turned on by this.  You caught that right?  That SHE admitted to being turned on by this.

If I were a teen destined to be into a little kink and I saw this picture in a magazine, I’m sure it would make me feel like I was way less of a freak (I’m not saying kinky people are freaks any more than anyone else but it’s always nice to feel a little validated, no matter who you are).

My favorite thing about Violet Blue is that her attitude towards sex is:  I’m a woman, I’m a feminist, I have kinky sex, I like it.  All those things can be true at once.

Something Dan Savage is always reminding me of is that if a man can think of a sex act then it’s probably already been done before.  And if it’s already been done before then at least one woman in the world has consented to it before.  Men aren’t the only ones with erotic imaginations.  And as Violet says, women have computers of their own now, and they can look at porn on their own too.

We have stripped the power-over dynamic from even the days of Mad Men and have taken the eroticism as our own. If they [Jezebel] find the concept of female sexual submission so offensive — if that is what you read into Suit Supply’s scenarios — they could read Women Who Like to Be Dominated in Bed: Talking to BDSM Submissives and be a little less judgmental about fantasies that might belong to those who would be their allies.

~Violet Blue

Does Suit Supply empower men to be misogynists or does it empower women to embrace power play fantasies?  Maybe it depends on what you’ve been raised to read from this.  Coming from my sex positive household I see consent.  My male friends with more sheltered upbringings can’t imagine that any nice, normal girl could choose this over candles and rose petals.

It can be both.  As long as children are brought up in both types of households it will be both.  Maybe that’s the problem.