Just in case you’re nervous you have something.
Being worried you have something is hard.
Actually having something is usually treatable.
This video from the Adult Performer Advocacy Committee offers a really interesting insight into how adult performers take care of themselves and each other.
It also is full of suggestions all us offscreen folk can use to improve our own sexual health. All the information about STI’s and not engaging in any kind of sex when you have a cold. The information about how recently brushed teeth or shaved skin is more susceptible to infection. The importance of talking about boundaries with your partner before engaging in sex and how it can boost chemistry.
And combining that with Stoya’s comment about your butthole. If your butthole doesn’t qualify as genitalia to you then that pre-sex boundary talk you’re already having with your partner is a convenient and natural time to mention that. You know, before someone unknowingly oversteps that boundary.
Something else they mention a few times that I think translates well into non-performative sex is that you don’t have to defend any rejections. If you don’t want to do something, even if you’ve done it before, even if you’ve done it with that person before, even if you said that you might, even if you invited them over, even if you didn’t say it was out of bounds before, even if you’ve already been doing it for two minutes and then change your mind, you DO NOT have to do it. And anyone who doesn’t take that for an answer should be ejected and have 500 points taken from their Hogwarts house immediately for disgracefully poor form.
Also, when they talk about how you should expect everyone you know to see your performance. Next time you get out a camera think about that. Is this shot something I’m ok with the entire universe seeing. And then maybe think about it again. Even if your partner promises never to share it. Accounts get hacked, phones get stolen, SnapChat has a lax security policy. The internet is a big scary place.
Porn 101, more like Healthy Sex 101.
Completely unrelated: I want Stoya’s hair. I should just print that screenshot and bring it to the hairdresser. It is perfection.