I got some really interesting feedback on my post from last week about the word boyfriend.
To me, the word boyfriend means the person who I’m auditioning to be my husband and who I’m expecting to land the gig. We’re past callbacks and we’re in the workshop phase, he’s hired for a limited trial run and we’re just working out whether he could survive the move to Broadway.
Meanwhile a friend of mine argued that she still uses the word boyfriend to describe the guy she just moved in with and it’s beginning to sound too petty for the level of commitment they have to one another.
So I’m starting a glossary.
Hookup – Kissed him on Friday, forgot his name by Saturday.
Date – Person I went on a date with and would or would not go on another date with, perhaps in a rotation of other more or less casual people.
Rhinoceros – He’s my… We… He’s not my boyfriend, he’s just… mine, ish. His lips are. But not exclusively. We’re still figuring it out.
Yankee – Person seen in a longterm style including “plus 1” status, casually and with no expectation of largescale romantic commitments ie monogamy, moving in, children. Yes, we have understandings about what constitutes a betrayal of our boundaries. No, it is not important to me that YOU understand them.
Boyfriend – He knows all my friends, he’s my date to just about every opening night party/wedding. I would feel comfortable bringing him to thanksgiving dinner with my grandmother. In fact I would probably feel more comfortable at thanksgiving dinner if he were there.
Husband/Fiance – We are Mr. and Mrs. Crypt Keeper, welcome to our home. We cook together. I do not have slumber parties with my friends anymore.
ManPerson – Umbrella term. A male person who I have kissed or have intention of kissing. Don’t ask me for specifics.
The important thing about this list is that it doesn’t matter at all. What matters is that these are the things I’m trying to express when I use these words. And I can define and redefine them whenever I want so long as I inform the involved parties. I’m at the point in my life for Yankees and Rhinoceri. When I’m ready for a Boyfriend I’m sure I’ll redefine the word to mean whatever we want it to mean then.