Dating, Sex

What Is This Feeling?

So there’s this guy. And I want him like a snake bite wants an antidote. Every time I see him, hug him, feel him smile at me, hear a word he says, I just want to strip him down wherever we are and gobble him whole. It’s the most visceral reaction I’ve had to anyone in a while, and I want to indulge the shit out of it. His skin on mine is the stuff of dreams, his palms so warm on my upper arm, his thumb across my lower lip, the crushing weight of his chest on mine.

And yet even as I think about him and how many hours it’s been since I’ve seen him and how he’s certainly not even thinking about me, I read these poems about love, look at pictures of couples with their libraries and music collections mixed together.

And somehow I know that we don’t get that together. It just wouldn’t work. I see no future in these cards at all.

And yet I’m ruining myself praying he even spends one moment thinking of me today, and hating knowing that he isn’t, and that he’s flirting with some other girl because why not.

Is there a name for this stupidity?

Man Meat, Media, Sexuality

Fantasy Research

I’ve been reading a fantastic book called Yes Means Yes this week and one of the things this book talks a lot about is how girls aren’t raised to honor their sexual desires.

So, straight women, I give you (drum roll please)

Fantasy Research.

(A term coined by my super smart lady friend.  And, totally unrelated, if you’re having any questions about health care reform she has a simple guide)

A few lovely websites to peruse on your own time:

Hunk Du Jour

Mostly models.  You know what I always say, “A hunk a day keeps… what was I saying?”

You Are An Object

Great images, mostly of sexy men of all kinds.  I love that whoever runs the site obviously is a writer and uses the images as inspiration for short stories.  Yay for the internet facilitating multiple forms of art at once!

Boy Gaga

Great for when I’m feeling vengeful at the patriarchy.  I feel like this site objectifies men in ways that the media usually reserves for women.  It simply fills me with delight.

Hang The DJ

Sweet.  Lots of cuddles.  Mostly gay couples but what’s better than looking at one hot guy?  Yep.

And for those of you who dream of hair the way I do.

Fuck Yeah Indie Boys

I just want to run my hands… yeah.

Remember kids:

No shame.  No sex negativity.

I just want to point out that I know that this is a very by-straight-girl-for-straight-girl post and I try not to do that too much.  I know (or hope at least) that this blog has a much more diverse audience than that.  I just wanted to present things that I like and encourage all of you to find whatever that is for you.

Now go find the stuff you like!

Also, actual Pr0n.

Bodies, Man Meat, Media

Too Distracted To Think Of A Title

I just saw The Avengers.

I have some feelings which I’m not going to share.  Let’s just say I expected a little more from Joss in the old Awesome Full Female Characters department.  Oh well, no huge shocker.

But I did want to comment on something specific.

I would never kick Chris Hemsworth out of bed.

Boy can eat all the crackers he wants.

I don’t like to say the word Never.

But come on.

Let’s be serious.




Imagine if the world were only clones of Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johansson, and Beyonce.


Bring on the awkward computer geeks!

Being a little imperfect can be beautiful too.

Bodies, Man Meat, Media

Stop Looking At Me That W… What Was I Saying Again?

If you’re a long time reader of Female Gazing you’ll remember how much I love pictures of people looking at other people.

I love how in this picture I can tell that she’s doing exactly what I’d be doing if Alexander Skarsgard were looking at me like that.

My interpretation of the thoughts going through Kristin Bauer’s head at this exact moment:

I had something to say I swear…  I was thinking…  something…  God you’re pretty.  Why are you looking at me like that?  No, don’t stop, ever.  Don’t giggle Kristin, if you giggle he’ll move away.  gdsfkljm,kijf…..  *drool*

Then he looks away and laughs and you’re like ‘well hell, there goes my chance to look like a real person with real thoughts and stuff.’

It’s really a wonder.  Gorgeous men’s smiles are like crack.  You do horrible things to get one and then once you have a hit you do something ridiculously foolish like forget how to spell your own middle name and then once it’s gone you hate yourself for having the craving and swear you won’t try to score anymore.

Until next time of course.

Men.  Can’t live with ’em, can’t shoot em.


Oh, Refreshing.

A delicious friend of mine posted this recipe on facebook the other day and I’m excited to try it.  Here it is.

Mom’s Banana Buddy Shake


1 ripe banana
1 cup of non-dairy milk (I used vanilla almond milk or rice milk but cow’s is fine too)
1 1/2 Tbsp unsalted peanut butter (any nut or seed butter will work here)
1/2 tsp gluten free vanilla extract
1/2 tsp ground flaxseed (optional but provides a good source of Omega-3s)
pinch of sea salt, optional but so yummy!
dash of cinnamon (plus more for sprinkling on top, if desired)
ice cubes


1. Place all ingredients in a blender and mix until combined. Pour into glass and enjoy!

Serves 1

Sweet cool summer deliciousness.

Sweet cool summer deliciousness.

Advice, Hope

So Crazy It Just Might Work

When is it crazy to do something for someone else?

Ok that was vague.

How soon is too soon to make a big change for someone?

A good friend of mine is graduating and moving to a new city to be with a guy she kissed for the first time this winter.  Five months ago.  Five short months and she’s willing to move her world to be with him.  Crazy or not crazy?

She’s 22.  She can afford to run around the country and live in a city that maybe she won’t like in a few years because maybe she won’t be with him in a few years.


I’m 21 and I’m considering moving across the country for a boy.  And I want to slap myself.  I want to slap myself and say “Snap out of it!  It’s a boy you spent 3 whole freaking days with!  Stop being an idiot.  Your life is not an Ethan Hawke romcom

And yet, I could live in a great city with a roommate I love, a cute dog, a full support network of friends and family nearby, and a career path.  That wouldn’t be too crazy right?

So am I moving for the guy?  The job?  Him?  Me?  And is doing it to be near him really just me doing something for me?  And is that something my feminism could live with?

And if it this whole thing is too crazy then I’m young and can always say the whole experiment was a great learning experience and move home.

And if it’s not… then I’ll be lying in the sun with a dog and the tall man eating peanut sauce on spinach.


Anyone have any suggestions?


Run To The Sea, Sea Won’t You Hide Me

Hello all,

I’m in Los Angeles right now and wasn’t planning to write any posts while on this trip.  But…

I found this picture.  And I decided it deserved it’s own post.

God help me.

Corinna says I’m the most boy-crazy person she knows.  And I say she needs to meet more people.

I must say I’m excited to be in California spending time with people who I know are at least as in awe of the human form as I am.

Who doesn’t need a little injection of positivity in the form of intense beauty?

And if such a person exists I certainly don’t want to spend any time with them.

Everyone got a chance to look at that arm though right?  Drool…

Man Meat, Media

The Thinking Woman’s Crumpet

A while ago someone who calls him/herself Milky commented here and left me a link to check out. And Milky asked for my comments on it. My thoughts are pretty well summed up on their ‘female gaze’ page.

Don’t fancy our guys?

That’s because you haven’t photographed the men you do fancy and submitted your pictures. Filament is not a diktat, it’s formed by women like you owning their erotic desire and making the effort to represent it. If you’re moaning about preferring ‘other types of men’ while thinking ‘but I couldn’t possibly photograph a man!’ you’ve identified the problem. Stuff changes because people notice something that isn’t being done and make it happen themselves. We look forward to your submission.

To me the important part of filament is that it encourages women to look, to be active, to consume rather than be consumed.  Looking at guys is good fun.  But reading these photography guidelines are even better.

Does that answer your question Milky?

But, yeah.  Don’t worry about whether I enjoy it or not.