Tag Archives: Porn

Doctor Who Like You’ve Never Seen Him Before

3 Sep

Today I heard about a video that I’m so excited about.

And this one seems to have such a great sense of humor about itself and the cannon it comes from. Plus, a bit of hilarity around knowing that it is itself a porn parody. The best use of rule 34 I’ve seen in a while.

And the best news is that apparently you can watch it for free here.

Plus, even John Green loves a good porn parody. Do you think they’ll do any public screenings?

Self-ing Sufficiently Today

20 Jun

Stoya on the street

i love stoya. i really do. i have a mental list of women who make me feel better about myself and my body and stoya is one of them. [x]

This picture/statement to me is the antithesis of the problem I have with Keira Knightley.

Stoya’s unashamed love of herself makes me love myself. She just seems to Self so hard, you know? I just can’t get enough of it. Just in case we needed another pro-porn argument.

Kayden Kross is pregnant!

12 Mar

You guys! Let’s all wish Kayden Kross well on her new baby girl! Kayden Kross is a porn star and apparently a quite famous one at that. And my respect for her has grown even greater since reading her interview over at XOJane.

How do you deal with the haters, and the judgment of people who feel like porn stars shouldn’t have kids? To be honest, there are some cases where porn stars shouldn’t have kids. There are some cases where doctors shouldn’t have kids. It’s a matter of the person. Some people shouldn’t have kids. You have to have the resources. And I don’t mean you shouldn’t have kids if you don’t have money. I mean, if you don’t have the actual emotional resources, the things that you need to give a child so that he or she can grow up in an environment where he or she feels loved and respected—if you can’t provide that, don’t bring a fricking kid into the world! And I think there’s just a perception of what a porn star is. And we do push that perception, ‘cause that’s what we’re selling. But you think of a porn star as someone who is impulsive and just kind of does whatever at any cost and for any amount of attention, but you have to remember they’re doing this for a camera; they’re being paid to portray this character. But that tends to not translate to someone who might be very nurturing and stable for a young person. So I can see why the perception’s there, it’s just like… you can’t look at an actor and say, “Oh that person’s a bad person, didn’t you see this movie?”

It seems like some people might have a hard time with the whole porn-star-becomes-mom thing. Yeah, they kind of don’t mesh well. I remember when I first met porn stars, I was like, “You have kids? How do you do that?” But being around it, I got used to it. I mean, I was shocked when people started having kids just in general. People I went to high school with. You hear about it and you’re like, “Are you old enough for that? Is that OK?” Obviously there are gong to be things. Like, I’m not going to want her to dig through certain boxes in the garage. But on the other hand, there are so many worse things that I’m going to have to steer her through in life. I don’t know if you saw [our pet] bunny sitting in the window? This bunny is awesome. She’s six years old. Best-case scenario, she’ll live to be nine years old. So I’m gonna have this baby, she’s gonna be attached to this bunny, and right when she’s most attached, this rabbit’s going to keel over on her. I’m gonna have to explain death to a three-year-old.

Kayden Kross is one of the first Adult names I can remember remembering and it’s because of this (very, very NSFW #ThisIsPorn) video which I’m pretty sure I’ve linked to here before and which heavily influenced my bedroom predilections. When I talk about chatting and giggling in bed this is what I mean, when I talk about smiling and being silly and getting distracted by other things during a blowjob this is where I get it from. I sent this video to The Yankee and he agreed.

Kayden Kross gave my teenage self a lesson in not just blowjobs but self-acceptance and fun. She taught me how to express myself through loving things and that lesson has mapped itself across all aspects of my life for which I’m very grateful. I can actually trace part of my love of knitting back to that porn clip. I think she’ll make a great mom and I wish her all the best.

Porn 101

21 Feb

This video from the Adult Performer Advocacy Committee offers a really interesting insight into how adult performers take care of themselves and each other.

It also is full of suggestions all us offscreen folk can use to improve our own sexual health. All the information about STI’s and not engaging in any kind of sex when you have a cold. The information about how recently brushed teeth or shaved skin is more susceptible to infection. The importance of talking about boundaries with your partner before engaging in sex and how it can boost chemistry.

And combining that with Stoya’s comment about your butthole. If your butthole doesn’t qualify as genitalia to you then that pre-sex boundary talk you’re already having with your partner is a convenient and natural time to mention that. You know, before someone unknowingly oversteps that boundary.

Something else they mention a few times that I think translates well into non-performative sex is that you don’t have to defend any rejections. If you don’t want to do something, even if you’ve done it before, even if you’ve done it with that person before, even if you said that you might, even if you invited them over, even if you didn’t say it was out of bounds before, even if you’ve already been doing it for two minutes and then change your mind, you DO NOT have to do it. And anyone who doesn’t take that for an answer should be ejected and have 500 points taken from their Hogwarts house immediately for disgracefully poor form.

Also, when they talk about how you should expect everyone you know to see your performance. Next time you get out a camera think about that. Is this shot something I’m ok with the entire universe seeing. And then maybe think about it again. Even if your partner promises never to share it. Accounts get hacked, phones get stolen, SnapChat has a lax security policy. The internet is a big scary place.

Porn 101, more like Healthy Sex 101.

Completely unrelated: I want Stoya’s hair. I should just print that screenshot and bring it to the hairdresser. It is perfection.

Porny Hairy Feminists

27 Nov

An exceptional person and friend of mine called me last week and, as we do, we got talking about body hair. She just enrolled in Aesthetician school, but was recently employed as a phone sex operator.

I don’t know how we got on this topic but she was telling me about how her mother used to shame her about having visible hair on her legs when she was a kid. How her mother has always had thin, light hair and was upset by her daughter having dark hair on her thighs.

As a Jewess myself I can sympathize with that.

And we realized that something that really helped us get past the shaming we experienced was, for her being a PSO and for me, porn. It’s something that I first thought about when I watched this video debating the merits of porn in general. The woman defending porn argued that anything a woman dislikes about her body is potentially something that a consumer can love about her body and can potentially take her from a place of shame to a place of self-love.

And for me, clicking around and seeing tags like “hairy” and just knowing that someone, or some large group of someones was sitting at home and choosing that specific search term, not because they had some hirsutism fetish, but because they just like women who for one reason or another don’t make hair removal a top priority, was really refreshing. It was really nice to see that for all the people who have made negative comments on women with body hair, there are people sitting on the other side, who love it, though they might not always be as vocal.

I’m not against hair removal. I’m a feminist because I want to fight for your right to remove your hair or keep your hair because whatever choice you make is what you want to do.

But for all of the tropes about hairy feminists being unattractive or unlovable, it’s nice to see IN PRACTICE that they’re wrong.

We can be loved. And lusted after.

I Can’t Even, I Just Cant

28 Aug

Dan Savage said the other day on his podcast that a lot of porn is made for people who will never have sex. And that is an interesting lens to look at porn and porn websites through.

Last night as I was perusing some adult online video content *ahem ahem* I was struck by this advertisement on the side of the window.

Screen shot 2013-08-10 at 1.27.08 AM

I consider myself a pro-sex and pro-porn feminist. I consume it, I defend it on the internet, I send it to friends. And yet this kind of ad is what I hate about porn. This advertisement supports rape culture more than the entire James Deen and Princess Donna cannon combined.

Let’s make a list of the things I hate about this ad.

Her bored expression, dutiful, but too passive to be resentful. Yes, If you can believe it the #1 thing I hate about this advertisement is that she isn’t having any fun. At all. Her eyes seem to say ‘god do I hate my job’. We can all agree that many young people learn how sex works from porn. If we’re running with the theory that porn is marketed to people who will never have sex then this kind of woman-hating ad is still awful, but it certainly isn’t as potentially dangerous. And through that dual lens what are we learning here? That sex is something men enjoy and women tolerate for them. Also that this expression isn’t a reason to stop. Such an expression of displeasure in your partner should always be cause to stop (unless previously specified of course). RAPEY.

The mother fucking copy. Excuse my language but “Ugly girls need sex (too).” Seriously? Seriously? I can’t. I can’t even. I’ll do it quickly, like ripping off a band-aid. Suggests that women who by some man are considered ugly should be grateful for whatever attention those men give them regardless of whether the women asked for it. And in instances of rape supports third party claims that it couldn’t have been rape because “how could he have raped you? You aren’t even pretty”. RAPEY RAPEY RAPEY. Suggests that some women are too ugly to deserve love. Suggests that by having sex with an ‘ugly girl’ he is doing her some kind of pity-favor.

Her infantilizing hairdo, Anybody recognize it? Her name was BABY Spice. That’s Baby with a capital BABY.

Her ridiculously impossible Barbie proportions. Because they totally exist in nature [Insert eye roll here].

The fact that it’s actually a .GIF so her head bobs up and down and she blinks. So not only is she there, compelled to suck against her will with the words “Ugly girls need sex (too)” written above her head but she moves so you can’t stop looking at her and hating her and yourself and the porn industry when you really just want to watch some James Deen and go to bed.

Porn As Junk Food

19 Aug

A friend sent me this video the other day.

In many ways, a lot of porn is comparable to junk food. It’s a highly distilled and concentrated formulation that is engineered to tap into some of our most basic urges. As a culture, we’re really good at taking something that’s good for us or fun and distilling it to the point of toxicity. In the case of food, it’s salt, sugar, and fat. In the case of porn, it’s formulaic, unrealistic sex that follows predictable conventions and neglects genuine pleasure. In both cases, real diversity and variety is removed and instead, superficial differences are promoted as innovations. When it comes down to it, what’s the difference between Cheetos, Doritos, or Fritos? They’re all corn products, with salt, fat, and variations in flavoring additives. Their purpose isn’t to nourish- their purpose is to get people to buy their products so the producers can get as much money as possible. [x]

We just have to make sure not to base our ideas of what sex should be like on what porn is like. We don’t cook potatoes so they taste like McDonalds, why would we do it with sex?