Tag Archives: Porn

Doctor Who Like You’ve Never Seen Him Before

3 Sep

Today I heard about a video that I’m so excited about.

And this one seems to have such a great sense of humor about itself and the cannon it comes from. Plus, a bit of hilarity around knowing that it is itself a porn parody. The best use of rule 34 I’ve seen in a while.

And the best news is that apparently you can watch it for free here.

Plus, even John Green loves a good porn parody. Do you think they’ll do any public screenings?

Self-ing Sufficiently Today

20 Jun

Stoya on the street

i love stoya. i really do. i have a mental list of women who make me feel better about myself and my body and stoya is one of them. [x]

This picture/statement to me is the antithesis of the problem I have with Keira Knightley.

Stoya’s unashamed love of herself makes me love myself. She just seems to Self so hard, you know? I just can’t get enough of it. Just in case we needed another pro-porn argument.

Kayden Kross is pregnant!

12 Mar

You guys! Let’s all wish Kayden Kross well on her new baby girl! Kayden Kross is a porn star and apparently a quite famous one at that. And my respect for her has grown even greater since reading her interview over at XOJane.

How do you deal with the haters, and the judgment of people who feel like porn stars shouldn’t have kids? To be honest, there are some cases where porn stars shouldn’t have kids. There are some cases where doctors shouldn’t have kids. It’s a matter of the person. Some people shouldn’t have kids. You have to have the resources. And I don’t mean you shouldn’t have kids if you don’t have money. I mean, if you don’t have the actual emotional resources, the things that you need to give a child so that he or she can grow up in an environment where he or she feels loved and respected—if you can’t provide that, don’t bring a fricking kid into the world! And I think there’s just a perception of what a porn star is. And we do push that perception, ‘cause that’s what we’re selling. But you think of a porn star as someone who is impulsive and just kind of does whatever at any cost and for any amount of attention, but you have to remember they’re doing this for a camera; they’re being paid to portray this character. But that tends to not translate to someone who might be very nurturing and stable for a young person. So I can see why the perception’s there, it’s just like… you can’t look at an actor and say, “Oh that person’s a bad person, didn’t you see this movie?”

It seems like some people might have a hard time with the whole porn-star-becomes-mom thing. Yeah, they kind of don’t mesh well. I remember when I first met porn stars, I was like, “You have kids? How do you do that?” But being around it, I got used to it. I mean, I was shocked when people started having kids just in general. People I went to high school with. You hear about it and you’re like, “Are you old enough for that? Is that OK?” Obviously there are gong to be things. Like, I’m not going to want her to dig through certain boxes in the garage. But on the other hand, there are so many worse things that I’m going to have to steer her through in life. I don’t know if you saw [our pet] bunny sitting in the window? This bunny is awesome. She’s six years old. Best-case scenario, she’ll live to be nine years old. So I’m gonna have this baby, she’s gonna be attached to this bunny, and right when she’s most attached, this rabbit’s going to keel over on her. I’m gonna have to explain death to a three-year-old.

Kayden Kross is one of the first Adult names I can remember remembering and it’s because of this (very, very NSFW #ThisIsPorn) video which I’m pretty sure I’ve linked to here before and which heavily influenced my bedroom predilections. When I talk about chatting and giggling in bed this is what I mean, when I talk about smiling and being silly and getting distracted by other things during a blowjob this is where I get it from. I sent this video to The Yankee and he agreed.

Kayden Kross gave my teenage self a lesson in not just blowjobs but self-acceptance and fun. She taught me how to express myself through loving things and that lesson has mapped itself across all aspects of my life for which I’m very grateful. I can actually trace part of my love of knitting back to that porn clip. I think she’ll make a great mom and I wish her all the best.

Porn 101

21 Feb

This video from the Adult Performer Advocacy Committee offers a really interesting insight into how adult performers take care of themselves and each other.

It also is full of suggestions all us offscreen folk can use to improve our own sexual health. All the information about STI’s and not engaging in any kind of sex when you have a cold. The information about how recently brushed teeth or shaved skin is more susceptible to infection. The importance of talking about boundaries with your partner before engaging in sex and how it can boost chemistry.

And combining that with Stoya’s comment about your butthole. If your butthole doesn’t qualify as genitalia to you then that pre-sex boundary talk you’re already having with your partner is a convenient and natural time to mention that. You know, before someone unknowingly oversteps that boundary.

Something else they mention a few times that I think translates well into non-performative sex is that you don’t have to defend any rejections. If you don’t want to do something, even if you’ve done it before, even if you’ve done it with that person before, even if you said that you might, even if you invited them over, even if you didn’t say it was out of bounds before, even if you’ve already been doing it for two minutes and then change your mind, you DO NOT have to do it. And anyone who doesn’t take that for an answer should be ejected and have 500 points taken from their Hogwarts house immediately for disgracefully poor form.

Also, when they talk about how you should expect everyone you know to see your performance. Next time you get out a camera think about that. Is this shot something I’m ok with the entire universe seeing. And then maybe think about it again. Even if your partner promises never to share it. Accounts get hacked, phones get stolen, SnapChat has a lax security policy. The internet is a big scary place.

Porn 101, more like Healthy Sex 101.

Completely unrelated: I want Stoya’s hair. I should just print that screenshot and bring it to the hairdresser. It is perfection.

Porny Hairy Feminists

27 Nov

An exceptional person and friend of mine called me last week and, as we do, we got talking about body hair. She just enrolled in Aesthetician school, but was recently employed as a phone sex operator.

I don’t know how we got on this topic but she was telling me about how her mother used to shame her about having visible hair on her legs when she was a kid. How her mother has always had thin, light hair and was upset by her daughter having dark hair on her thighs.

As a Jewess myself I can sympathize with that.

And we realized that something that really helped us get past the shaming we experienced was, for her being a PSO and for me, porn. It’s something that I first thought about when I watched this video debating the merits of porn in general. The woman defending porn argued that anything a woman dislikes about her body is potentially something that a consumer can love about her body and can potentially take her from a place of shame to a place of self-love.

And for me, clicking around and seeing tags like “hairy” and just knowing that someone, or some large group of someones was sitting at home and choosing that specific search term, not because they had some hirsutism fetish, but because they just like women who for one reason or another don’t make hair removal a top priority, was really refreshing. It was really nice to see that for all the people who have made negative comments on women with body hair, there are people sitting on the other side, who love it, though they might not always be as vocal.

I’m not against hair removal. I’m a feminist because I want to fight for your right to remove your hair or keep your hair because whatever choice you make is what you want to do.

But for all of the tropes about hairy feminists being unattractive or unlovable, it’s nice to see IN PRACTICE that they’re wrong.

We can be loved. And lusted after.

I Can’t Even, I Just Cant

28 Aug

Dan Savage said the other day on his podcast that a lot of porn is made for people who will never have sex. And that is an interesting lens to look at porn and porn websites through.

Last night as I was perusing some adult online video content *ahem ahem* I was struck by this advertisement on the side of the window.

Screen shot 2013-08-10 at 1.27.08 AM

I consider myself a pro-sex and pro-porn feminist. I consume it, I defend it on the internet, I send it to friends. And yet this kind of ad is what I hate about porn. This advertisement supports rape culture more than the entire James Deen and Princess Donna cannon combined.

Let’s make a list of the things I hate about this ad.

Her bored expression, dutiful, but too passive to be resentful. Yes, If you can believe it the #1 thing I hate about this advertisement is that she isn’t having any fun. At all. Her eyes seem to say ‘god do I hate my job’. We can all agree that many young people learn how sex works from porn. If we’re running with the theory that porn is marketed to people who will never have sex then this kind of woman-hating ad is still awful, but it certainly isn’t as potentially dangerous. And through that dual lens what are we learning here? That sex is something men enjoy and women tolerate for them. Also that this expression isn’t a reason to stop. Such an expression of displeasure in your partner should always be cause to stop (unless previously specified of course). RAPEY.

The mother fucking copy. Excuse my language but “Ugly girls need sex (too).” Seriously? Seriously? I can’t. I can’t even. I’ll do it quickly, like ripping off a band-aid. Suggests that women who by some man are considered ugly should be grateful for whatever attention those men give them regardless of whether the women asked for it. And in instances of rape supports third party claims that it couldn’t have been rape because “how could he have raped you? You aren’t even pretty”. RAPEY RAPEY RAPEY. Suggests that some women are too ugly to deserve love. Suggests that by having sex with an ‘ugly girl’ he is doing her some kind of pity-favor.

Her infantilizing hairdo, Anybody recognize it? Her name was BABY Spice. That’s Baby with a capital BABY.

Her ridiculously impossible Barbie proportions. Because they totally exist in nature [Insert eye roll here].

The fact that it’s actually a .GIF so her head bobs up and down and she blinks. So not only is she there, compelled to suck against her will with the words “Ugly girls need sex (too)” written above her head but she moves so you can’t stop looking at her and hating her and yourself and the porn industry when you really just want to watch some James Deen and go to bed.

Porn As Junk Food

19 Aug

A friend sent me this video the other day.

In many ways, a lot of porn is comparable to junk food. It’s a highly distilled and concentrated formulation that is engineered to tap into some of our most basic urges. As a culture, we’re really good at taking something that’s good for us or fun and distilling it to the point of toxicity. In the case of food, it’s salt, sugar, and fat. In the case of porn, it’s formulaic, unrealistic sex that follows predictable conventions and neglects genuine pleasure. In both cases, real diversity and variety is removed and instead, superficial differences are promoted as innovations. When it comes down to it, what’s the difference between Cheetos, Doritos, or Fritos? They’re all corn products, with salt, fat, and variations in flavoring additives. Their purpose isn’t to nourish- their purpose is to get people to buy their products so the producers can get as much money as possible. [x]

We just have to make sure not to base our ideas of what sex should be like on what porn is like. We don’t cook potatoes so they taste like McDonalds, why would we do it with sex?

Enjoy

3 Jul

Very often I’m in the position of trying to explain to drunk people in bars why they should read my blog, or why I’m super cool. And the easiest way to get at why my blog is different is the presence of porn on it.

Plus, a lady bringing up the word porn in a bar always incites interesting conversation. It’s a great way to take the temperature of the room. You never know exactly what reaction you’re going to get, especially from women.

The men are easy. They either get a wide-eyed excitement because the women they know either don’t watch or don’t mention that they watch porn. Or they laugh.

The women (as with most anything) are more interesting. A lot of them look like I’m giving them the opening to come out of the closet. Their eyes go wide and they shout “YES” or “I know!” and we get to talk about how there is some awful stuff but then some great stuff out there on the world wide web.

But just as often they either never cared to look or they’ve looked and only seen scary, aggressive porn that turned them off. For women who historically don’t like porn, don’t like the porn they’ve seen, or haven’t heard of James Deen I like to send them this link.

Enjoy.

James Deen: Part… A Lot

20 May

Yesterday I got another comment on my post about James Deen and I just had to share it.

Heres the kind of stuff your “Feminist” hero James Deen is into: http://www.redtube.com/312795

He makes the Steubenville football team look like Gloria Steinem. Anyone who would be “glad” her daughter was into that is human scum, and probably a child abuser. So congrats, youve turned Feminism into a sham!

For anyone above 50, new to the internet, or just vanilla DO NOT go haphazardly clicking on that link. That is some hardcore porn of the hardcore-iest variety.

More specifically it’s a link to a gangbang (1 gal, many guys) starring a woman called Princess Donna and featuring James Deen.

Now, among the many things this commenter (lets call him Marty) is missing is that Princess Donna directs porn. This of course isn’t a reason to gangbang her. The reason in this case is that she asked for it. You know, in the only way a woman ever can ask for sex, with her words.

I will say that I didn’t much like the “pizza delivery” scene (you know, this safe-for-work part) which felt a little Stubenville-y to me and was not anything like any fantasy of mine. However there is a reason for that. It wasn’t a fantasy of mine; it was a fantasy of hers.

If you go to the beginning of the video you see an interview with Princess Donna where she doesn’t just agree to be in the film but we find out that she personally selected the director and told him exactly what she wants the setup to be.

And here is the kicker, the thing that tells me not just how much Marty missed but how he was looking in the completely wrong place. In the interview she talks about an experience where she had been on a roof with a bunch of strange men at a party and had gotten nervous something would happen. In the real life version of events she got scared because they were strangers, some more people came up to the roof, the situation diffused itself and she ran back down to the party. Because that shit is scary.

However since then she has been fantasizing about the experience going a different way. In fact at the end of the video (if you don’t want to see any sex, and I wouldn’t blame you, skip to 1:09:00) she says that her favorite part of the experience was the beginning because it was so much like her personal experience on the roof (AKA, thank you director for giving me exactly what I ASKED for with my words).

In the real life version where she had no control over what the guys would do, shit was scary and she didn’t want to be there. But this wasn’t real life, this was porn. This was a woman, a woman who directs BDSM porn like this, who has seen it up close and personal, walking into a space, hiring a director she likes, and (I imagine) men she likes (in fact in that final interview we hear that she and Deen have an off-camera relationship of some kind that we can gather isn’t very vanilla), and then having them do what she wants done to her.

Deen (and 7 other guys) did to her exactly what she asked them to do (with her WORDS, not her skirt) maybe even in writing (and I would bet money that there was an agreed upon safeword in play) and then she got paid for the evidence and probably a big reputation boost at work. The Stubenville football team did what they wanted to an unconscious underage girl who never asked for any of it and then used the evidence to bully and shame her.

Once again consent is what makes all the difference. And if you, Marty, couldn’t tell the difference between the entire conversation which constituted her consent and a troop of boys passing around an unconscious girl then I urge you to do women everywhere a favor and not have sex with anyone until you learn it.

Porn Stars With And Without Their Makeup

22 Mar

So this has been going around the internet lately.

33 Startling Photos Of Porn Stars With And Without Their Makeup On

Some favorites include

Cassandra Nix, 59 titles, 21 years old

Puma Swede, 162 titles, 37 years old
Jessica Mor, not listed

Allie Haze, 148 titles, 26 years old

Yes yes yes yes yes! Some of these women even look like women I know.

I consider myself sex and porn positive and generally support the safe, sane, consensual use of safe, sane consensually made porn. And I think a huge part of that is about being able to admit that the people who you’re watching are people, human people, with lives.

Look at these women. These women are dressing up to play their parts. Their fake-as-hell roles. They are performing fantasies for their publics. And they get paid to do their jobs just like you and me. They get up and get dressed and go to work.

To me the big lesson here is to remember that on the inside there is no difference between a woman who looks like Amor Hilton’s before photo and a woman who looks like Amor Hilton’s after photo. A woman is just a person, flawless skin or no flawless skin, body jiggle or no body jiggle.

What you are using to describe us as ‘types’ of women is greasepaint. And if you’re fooled by that old trick, then you truly are the fool.

Men often tell me that they can make a distinction between porn and real women, but I find that a little hard to believe. I would like any dude who uses porn who reads this to do me a favor and think about something: what exactly is the difference between the woman you date, or work with, or know from school, and the woman you last jerked off to? What is it that separates these two “kinds” of women? Is it that one will allow herself to be treated like garbage and one won’t? Is it that one likes to “get fucked” and the other doesn’t? Is it that one is nothing but something to be used and tossed away and the other one is worth treating better than that? Do you conceive of either of them as people you can relate to? Can you understand what it’s like to be either of them?

– Porn Part 4: Half of the Big Picture « Rage Against the Man-chine

Of course the flip side is this question: Why do women have to change themselves so much to be sufficiently ‘fuckable’? And why is this need to always look fuckable to a wide audience being transfered onto women who’s fuckability has nothing to do with their jobs (i.e. politicians, scientists, etc)?

Other interesting questions include:

Why don’t men spend this much time evening out their skin tone for my viewing pleasure?

Do viewers want their porn stars to look so perfectly inhuman so that they can distance them from the real women in their lives?

I don’t look like that; do you still think I’m pretty?

Are some of these women upset that photos of them without makeup are now on the net and attached to their porn names? Why? Because their cover is blown next time they go to the supermarket? Because now their fans will know the jig is up and turn against them?

Are they as embarrassed of being a human with flaws as you are?