Love, Hate and Hannah Horvath

In college we read the play Proof. In one of the early scenes there’s a bit where the main character’s sister suggests she use a particular shampoo.

Screen Shot 2016-04-20 at 8.53.16 PM

The teacher said “it’s one of the great tricks of this playwright. You don’t know that hair is dead. You have no reason to be on Catherine’s side of this fight and yet instead of being on Claire’s team the entire audience is with Catherine, thinking her sister is an idiot.”

And that’s what I think of when people criticize HBO’ Girls and hate on Hannah Horvath. In season 5 there is a moment where Hannah goes away for the weekend with her mother and before bed her mother brushes her teeth.

“Hannah, aren’t you going to brush your teeth?”

I’m a morning brusher. I go at it hard in the morning.”

Immediately you hate Hannah. And remember that you did exactly the same thing last night. And have a certain amount of internal conflict about those two facts co-existing.

That, to me is the beauty of the show. That is why it’s so cringe worthy. It’s why we hate it and simultaneously can’t look away. It’s what makes it a brilliant slice of the early 2010s instead of trite hipster trash (well, maybe they’re not mutually exclusive). That’s what it means when I say the show is smart. That’s what it means when I defend a completely indefensible character.

Dating, Intimacy, Love, Media

The Greatest Thing You’ll Ever Learn

The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

How hard can that be?

How much effort does one person need to put into learning how to be loved.

When someone was in love with me my breath was taken away every time he said it. Was that me not knowing how to be loved or just enjoying the feeling? Getting acclimated?

The media makes a big deal out of learning how to be loved. Do I not think it’s a big deal because it isn’t really a big deal, or because I just haven’t had to learn it yet?

Polling the audience here. Did you have to learn? Was it as difficult as Grey’s Anatomy would have you think?



Media, Sisterhood

I Love Amy Schumer

Today I watched the latest episode of Inside Amy Schumer.

An Episode, any episode, they’re all brilliant.

You know what I love about that show? It’s that it feels like it’s just the contents of her brain, spilled out all over the place, the good, the bad and the ugly. In any given episode there will be some amazing, subversive feminist pieces like this.

Or this

Or this

And there will also be other random stuff she finds funny like this

And her humor includes the gross and scatological.

I don’t love absolutely everything but she’s a person with a broad sense of humor. And I love that she’s allowed to express all of it.

How excited am I to see her movie? Very excited.

Dating, Death, Media

Here’s to How I Met Your Mother and Living Long Lives

At this point I’m going to assume that everyone either has seen the finale of How I Met Your Mother because you just couldn’t stop watching no matter how hard you tried, or that you just seriously don’t care. So, fair warning on spoilers.

I didn’t really enjoy watching the finale. It was like a lot of television finales, a lot of exposition, a lot of information to choke down, a lot of endings to tie up. You’re sitting there checking them off your list more than you’re enjoying the show. It’s kind of the opposite of the pilot episode, everything takes work, nothing is easy.

But that’s what happens with most finales.

I really really enjoyed the moral of the finale.

I really enjoyed going to bed afterwards thinking about how even larger than the ending itself, larger than the story about these characters, the ending was actually about how you can love more than one person in a lifetime. How you can still be with someone who doesn’t want the things that were so important to you because life is long and circumstances change. And everyone deserves a third act.

Do I care about the fantasy lives of these made up characters in their fantasy future? Of course not. It’s a TV show.

Do I care about the idea that there is life after the loss of a loved one? Yes.

Do I care about the idea that you can want kids and still end up with both kids, and the person you love who doesn’t want kids because a life is a long thing and things happen and circumstances change?


Yes, I do care about that.

So, yeah, I loved the ending. It was exactly what Ted “She’ll be perfect” Mosby would have wanted and also what Me “Please lower your expectations because you’re stressing me out” Myself would have wanted.

At the same time we saw that love can be instantaneous, like Ted has always professed, and can also take a lifetime, like us cynics have always wanted to scream at him.

Ted has always believed that he would get that perfect The One You Spend Your Life With one day, and it turned out that in MacLaren’s, just like in the real world, sometimes you don’t get TOYSYLW, you just get Love. Good capital-L Love with all the people who deserve it.

Because eventually everything and everyone will come and go.

So you might as well love everything and everyone you can while you can.

Art, Media, Sexism

A Very Bad Day Of Gender Swapping

From comes a story of role reversal and abuse.

The part that rings truest to me is the scene in the police station. How resistant the cops are to caring about his story. Making him listen to the statement as though he weren’t still immediately upset by it and treating him like the problem, like obviously he was doing something wrong to deserve such an attack.

Media, Sisterhood

Princesses, Imperfections and Poop

My wonderful and incredibly talented friend just released the indiegogo page for her film project “Princess Business.”

You should all go check it out. It’s full of intelligent humor, Slings-And-Arrows-esque truths about “the biz.” and women admitting that they take dumps.

You should start with Episode 1 but I must admit that for deeply personal reasons Episode 6 is my absolute favorite and had me rolling around on my bedroom floor giggling and dropping bobby pins all over the place. Yeah, seriously.

First I have to tell you to go donate to the indiegogo page HERE because it’s the best investment in art that you’ll make any time soon.

And then I have to talk about the importance of women admitting that they poop in media.

In high school I had a best friend who was fond of saying “women don’t poop” in the same way that a sane person would say “humans are mammals.” You know, fact.

I never quite understood why she insisted that she didn’t poop (which would be disastrous. of course, anatomically speaking) but could clearly burp in front of her boyfriend which negated the “I want to keep the mystery alive” argument.

In the same way that I was told that if I couldn’t talk about birth control then I wasn’t mature enough to be having sex; if you can’t understand and honor the body of the person you’re sleeping with then you shouldn’t be sleeping with them.

Women poop, if you are too immature to handle that fact then you are too immature for women.

All living things excrete waste. If you’re not cool with the women you date pooping then would you prefer to date non-living things?



The Most Surprising Tongue In Cheek Of The Day


I’m not even sure what to say about ALL that. Here are all the thoughts I had during the 4 minutes and 23 seconds.

  • Calling out fat-shaming, even of women who have just given birth.
  • Choosing going back to the office over housework.
  • Pulling a bit of slut-shaming.
  • Calling out slut shaming.
  • Completely over the top twerking that seems to be trying to call out twerking. A sort of pop music GPOY.
  • “Have you thought about your butt, who’s gonna tear it in two?” – Hello to you too porn industry and general misogynistic language, nice to see you made it to the party.
  • Holy shit that is a lot of butt.
  • Baggy pussy” I just laughed out loud to my empty room and had to rewind to catch the lyrics I missed.
  • “inequality promises that its here to stay. Always trust the injustice cause it’s not going away.” I love fun political art that makes me dance! It’s my favorite!!!

All in all it’s damn well stuck in my head though.

Deviant/Default, Media, Street Harassment

Blurred Lines

Most of my friends have no idea what I’m talking about when I say “Blurred Lines.” And that’s fair. They play it at work a lot and until I saw the internet’s reaction to it I only knew one line “I’m the hottest bitch in this place,” which I recently learned isn’t even the correct line.

As I thought that was the correct line I enjoyed the song a lot (which in my opinion went “Na na na na na na na na I’M THE HOTTEST BITCH IN THIS PLACE  *repeat ad nauseum*).

While the mainstream reaction to Blurred Lines was to play it every freaking minute on every top 40 radio station, the internet collectively reacted by making lots and lots of parodies.

The original we can all agree isn’t really particularly forward thinking. Fully dressed men checking out models with no clothes on, so original I can barely stand it.

But the parodies are priceless.

Feministing has an interesting critique of this one. I think my biggest problem with this song is that I’ve seen men look at me with these thoughts running through their heads and I don’t appreciate it. I don’t want anyone thinking of me “I know you want it, I know you want it, I know you want it.” Rapey/Creepy! “You’re an animal, it’s in your nature, I wanna liberate you,” I think not. I think very much not. Genderswapping that might be sort of interesting but it doesn’t do as well at showing how wrong the aggressor is in their assumption of your interest as the next one.

This is just delightful and gave me lots of giggles.

“There’s more to life than penetration and sexual discrimination.”

And then there’s the best thing in the world which I just found today. I think I need it playing all the time everywhere I go. It might be my new theme song.

Ask First from Brendan Anckaert on Vimeo.