Tag Archives: Learning

This Is The Story Of A Girl

29 Jun

The story of a girl who was treated really really well by a boy. She was 20, he was 25. It lasted 2 months. A year later he married someone else.

The first night they spent together she said “I don’t really like penetrative sex.” They didn’t do it the whole summer except for when she suggested it.

She said her feet hurt one night. Every night from then on he gave her his seat when she arrived.

When she said she was sad they worked so much they never went on real dates he grabbed some goldfish and said they should go on a walk/picnic.

When his alarm went off and scared her he changed the tone of it before the next day.

One summer, one sweet man, treating her like a person taught her what it meant to say no and have it be heard. Taught her what it feels like when your chest expands to fit the size of a bigger, better heart. It means that now she can turn down personal and professional offers that aren’t good enough for her or give her a bad feeling.

Anyone can be that teacher. Anyone can raise the bar on how someone expects to be treated. All you have to do is bring your A-game.

Menstrual Cups and Self-Ed

11 Apr

I would really like for my menstrual cup to be good at catching blood.

It was sold to me as “12 hours, no leaks!” but my experience so far has been a non-stop stain-a-thon. Every once in a while I emerge from the bathroom “This time it’s going to be different. This time I finally figured it out!” but it never seems to stick.

People keep asking me why I’m still trying to make it work after 5 years of constant failure.

Answer number one is simple and true “I really would like my period to be a carbon neutral event. I don’t like constantly buying and throwing away tampons. I need a better solution.”

But the deeper answer is something I didn’t expect.

This month in trying to get the damn thing to work I discovered that my cervix is more conical than the donut shape I always imagined it as.

And you know how in books they say your cervix will “feel like the tip of your nose” [x]

It totally does! It feels exactly like the tip of your nose!

How cool is that?!

So, my menstrual cup might suck at being a menstrual cup, but it’s pretty great at making me think about bodies in a new way. And so for that I’ll be grateful. And that’s even better.

The Excellence Of Curiosity

7 Dec

Learning is constant. It happens all over your brain. It may not always feel good but it is always good for you.

More Appreciation

5 Nov

A few weeks ago I wrote about this guy in my life. Because I was thinking of him that day, just cause, just to be appreciative for the good things in my life.

And after the post came out I started wondering if it made sense to other people. I have a lot of guys in my life who aren’t exactly relationships but who are really important to me for one reason, one experience, one night, one statement or another.

Today I thought I’d pay homage to another and the lesson he taught me.

A few years ago, when I first got the OKCupid app I was heading to a birthday party and perusing the app to kill time. I spied the cutest thing I’ve ever seen and sent him a message immediately. Turns out he was from California and had just one more night in New York.

I invited him to meet me at the bar the party was at and once he got there and I had put in some face time with the birthday person I focused my attention on him.

He was just as cute and smart and charming as he seemed online. He had represented himself perfectly, he was just as tall and skinny and knobby-kneed as in his pictures. He was just as self-deprecating and witty as his profile. I was so hooked.

We took off to find a place to go make out for a while. The finding a place was shenanigans in and of itself but all the intimacy was lovely.

The next day he flew back to California and we rarely talk now but he pops up on my facebook feed every once in a while to remind me what a cute face he has.

Why do I cherish this memory? What did I learn that night that brings me such joy?

I learned that I can be attracted to someone and make all the first moves and have them all be seriously appreciated and reciprocated, that contrary to what some of my friends say there are guys who appreciate that. It’s okay that I’m the brave one and also happen to be the one with the vagina.

Also, my attraction to someone physically and intellectually doesn’t need to be ignored because of something so petty as time or space.

For one night I adored him and he adored me. Just because we didn’t date for a while and then burst into flames does’t mean it wasn’t important.

Length of a relationship doesn’t always correlate to quality.

No wonder I think of him so fondly.