Abuse, Gender

Instead Of Destroying, Hold Hands

“The first act of violence that patriarchy demands of males is not violence toward women. Instead patriarchy demands of all males that they engage in acts of psychic self-mutilation, that they kill off the emotional parts of themselves. If an individual is not successful in emotionally crippling himself, he can count on patriarchal men to enact rituals of power that will assault his self-esteem.”

-Bell Hooks (via cultureofresistance)

“Telling boys and men that they shouldn’t drink regular diet drinks because they’re effeminate, but should instead drink “manly” things like Dr. Pepper Ten and Coke Zero and Pepsi Max, is telling them that there’s a right way to be male and it doesn’t involve anything feminine. That, in turn, tells them that female is less, female is bad, and female is worthy of ridicule. If men and boys are surrounded by ad campaigns that reinforce these ideas, don’t you think they’ll probably think women are less, and bad, and worthy of ridicule?”

~Hey Dr. Pepper, It’s Just Not Funny | SPARK a Movement

but you know what, with all this tearing apart and tearing down,

“There’s a lot of things you need to get across this universe. Warp drive… wormhole refractors… You know the thing you need most of all? You need a hand to hold.”

~The Tenth Doctor, Fear Her

“Part of the mechanics of oppressing people is to pervert them to the extent that they become the instruments of their own oppression.”

– Kumasi, “Crips & Bloods: Made in America

The hardest thing in this world is to live in it.  For men and women, boys and girls.  Hold hands, beautiful hands.

Bodies, Man Meat

Handle With Care

I love hands.
Their imperfections are the summation of our lives, our hardships, and our love.
Mine are a perfect representation of everything I am.  My right ring finger has three distinct freckles but that is the only place on either of my hands where freckles live.   My hands are not small or delicate, they’re strong and scarred and beautiful nonetheless.  I take my stress out on my hands, scratching at the sides of my thumbs until the poor things bleed.  They hold the stories of my past and the promise of my future and my hands are by far my favorite (physical) thing about me.

(Source: loveyourchaos)

I’ve spent a lot of time talking about hands.  They’re just so nice.

I’m not so big on feet but these seemed to match the hands well.

Knobby ankles, Knuckly knuckles.  Today I’m going to get anatomical about what I like.  (Oh, yeah)

So it appears to my highly trained med school eye (pshaw) that the part of the thumb I like so much is called the Proximal Phalanx (listen to that dirty talk!).  The narrow part between where the joint right above gets wide and flat and right below it where the thumb flares out into the palm of the hand.  The greater the difference between the narrow part and the wide parts (though I guess there must be a point of diminishing returns) the better.

If you have hands that do that I’ll probably tell you that you have piano hands.  It means I think they’re cute.

And that’s something I find sexy about men.  Hmmmm, that big toe does it too.

Proximal Phalanx…


I Wanna Hold Your Hand

A little while ago I was fortunate enough to spend time with a pretty rockin guy.

The coolest part of the experience was that the things we had in common were things that I thought were some of my weirdest quirks.

The best moment was turning to him and declaring in a whisper ‘Sensuality over sexuality’ and him knowing exactly what I meant and agreeing.

Merriam Webster (online of course) has this to say about ‘sensual’

1: relating to or consisting in the gratification of the senses or the indulgence of appetite : fleshly
2: sensory 1
3a : devoted to or preoccupied with the senses or appetites b : voluptuous c : deficient in moral, spiritual, or intellectual interests : worldly; especially : irreligious

And this to say about ‘sexual’

1: of, relating to, or associated with sex or the sexes <sexual differentiation> <sexual conflict>
2: having or involving sex <sexual reproduction>

Don’t get me wrong, I’m certainly not going to say that sex is bad.  Far be it from me to say anything bad about sex.  However, there’s something to be said for the gratification of the senses.  The indulgence of every appetite.  Each of your 5 senses hungers for something, and someone else’s body is a veritable feast for them.

For some great sensual touch scroll to around 5:45.  I’m sure sex isn’t far from his mind but the moment is so purely sensual it’s just beautiful

(Side note: if you haven’t seen Notting Hill then you’re missing out.  Cuddle up with a warm blanket, some hot cocoa and your best friend and get ready to swoon and laugh a lot)

The beginning of this scene (up until the awkward almost kiss thingy) has a great non-sexual comfortable touch component.  Healing, trusting, and dead sexy.  Sometimes touch without agenda is exactly what you need to build trust.  And then that trust allows you to each have an agenda later on and to want to be a part of making the other person happy rather than feeling used on their mission.

Non-sexual touch builds trust, comfort, and intimacy.  And once you have those building blocks you can play with them in different ways.

My mother used to be a dancer.   She loved modern dance, throwing out the restrictions of ballet.  She says, “Learn technique, technique will set you free. Because once you know it, you can toss it out the window”

Wanna have crazy wild sex?  Go ahead.  You’ll probably have more fun if you hold hands first.

Bodies, Man Meat, Media

Looking At People Looking At People

I’ve said before that I love pictures of one person looking at another.  More Joseph Gordon-Levitt learning with his eyes…and hands.  Yum.

Out of curiosity, where is the first place your eyes go?  Her cleavage?  The distracting stripe of the bed skirt?  Almost exclusively my eye sees his eyes on her, his hands on her and his ridiculously cute make out hair.

Claudia Schiffer is always beautiful and sexy.  This is not new and exciting.  Plus her eyes are practically glazed over.  His face has all the emotion.  He looks like he’s about to sigh a very heavy sigh.  What I would give to be a fly on the inside of his skull and hear his thoughts right here.

In True Blood the main character Sookie can read people’s minds.  She says that sometimes she hears people have conversations with themselves, talking themselves out of things.  Sometimes they’ll just think a word.  And sometimes she’ll get just a picture.  A snapshot or a few frames.

When I see this picture I wonder what Sookie would get from him.  A conversation with himself?  A single word?  Or a picture?  He’s so distracted, thinking about his present situation.  I want to hear his distraction.  Straight from the source.  Right between his ears.

Okay so I don’t love this picture as much as the first one but it does show how much someone’s gaze can tell us.  I’m not even going to say that this is problematic.  Partially because duh, staring at boobs in public, not the best move ever.  However on the other hand, she didn’t catch them so plus points for game.  On the other hand, they certainly didn’t dodge the photographer so minus points for game.

And now for my retaliation.  Let the staring begin.  Why do I like this picture?  Let me count the ways.  Hello chin ripe for scratching.  Hello hair right for twirling.  Hello neck right for kissing.  Hello adam’s apple right for …melting my brain.  Hello collar-bone.  Hello shirt with snaps.

Hello sailor!

If JGL (and creepy old men in suits) can have active eyes so can I.

I love to gaze, gaze, gaze…

Man Meat, Media

Hands Part 2

Alright, It’s been a long day so I’m just going to post something that makes me happy.

I don’t really like this commercial.  It’s kind of freaky and stupid.

I mean really?  What is this concrete jail they’re working in?  I’m sure the production designer thought it looked modern and minimalist but I think it looks cold and scary.

What I like about it is at second # 11.  The saving grace of this advert and the reason I’m putting it up here.  Look at how narrow the digits are compared to the knuckles.


Second # 7 isn’t bad either.  And there you get a great shot of his adam’s apple.  Yummy.  And the nice big Jewish shnoz.  What a mensch!

That’s all I’ve got this evening.  I hope you’ve enjoyed gazing as much as I have.