Tag Archives: Bodies

I Wanted To Take A Bath

3 Dec

So I took off my clothes and started filling the tub.

I set out a few candles around the bathroom; the sink, the window ledge, the toilet tank. I turned off the overhead and lit a match, moving from one candle to the next enjoying the rushing sound of the filling bath.

I turned my back to the sink with its three evenly spaced candles to pick some music for my soak and my gaze was met by curves descending like vines from the ceiling. When I moved they moved. My body, my hourglass, my S curves in triplicate, projected larger than life onto gleaming white tile.

I threw on something slow and watched my body in kaleidoscope. Twisting and turning, one curve turning into another, coming to a point, revealing itself to be a shoulder, a nipple, a hip.

I moved around the room and saw myself on all walls. Here, looking like three backup singers in impressive synchronicity. There, looking like one body as seen by a drunk three-eyed observer, gently rolling in and out of focus with herself.

A non-strip non-tease for an audience of herself plus water and fire. A sister goddess indeed.

Women Wipe Front To Back

21 Feb

Let’s talk about a very different kind of self-care: If you have a vagina, you should be wiping front to back.

A friend of mine was getting a bunch of UTIs and she got some great advice from *ahem* a friend:

You wipe front to back right?

What?

When you use the bathroom and you wipe, you wipe front to back?

No, how do you even do that?

I called my mom.

Can you imagine? She didn’t know to wipe front to back.

Yes, I didn’t know either.

What!? But I remember dad reminding me when I was a kid. The only memory I have of being potty trained is him telling me “your plumbing is internal so you wipe front to back.”

Yes. I didn’t know, I got a lot of infections, a doctor told me to wipe front to back. So when I had a kid I told your dad that we were gonna teach you that.

Every time I see a Gyno for a yeast infection we have this conversation:

Do you wipe front to back

YES! WHO DOESNT?!

So there you go. If your plumbing is internal you wipe front to back. You don’t want any fecal matter in those delicate ecosystems.

 

Vagina Dispatches

27 Dec

Know any young people in need of some clarification? Or any adults in need of a refresher course?

I like to think that I know a lot about how bodies work and I was shocked at some of this information.

Pass it on. Share the knowledge, share the love.

A Handful Is All You Need

6 Sep

I’m incredibly proud of my relationship with my body, especially my breasts. And why wouldn’t I be? They’re perfect. The left is called “Per” and the right is called “Fect”.

And nothing makes me feel more grateful, not for them so much as for my comfort with them, as this series from The Cut.

The slideshow is amazing.

In a long life breasts are many things to many people. Sexualized, ignored, too much, too little.

It rings so true that even though some of the notes disagree with each other, you can agree with all of them. One may be complaining about them weighing too much, and another can be about them feeling too small, and it’s possible to agree with both.

It gives you permission to feel whatever you do feel about them.

There are so many images of breasts in the world. If you have breasts it can feel like they’re always on display, for comment. Subject to someone else’s lens, typified by their own preferences.

There’s something so different about the only important qualifier being your personal feelings about your own personal body.

The Truth About The Hymen

28 Dec

I’m sure everyone has seen this already but it’s amazing.

Share it far and wide.

Striking You Like A Klimt

24 Apr

I know I mention Klimt a lot on here, but I just wanted to say,

I can look at your thigh and see a beautiful, force of nature.

And this artist could look at a woman and see the surface of a distant shimmering planet.

Water Serpents, by Gustav Klimt

It’s All About That Basin

10 Thoughts On Brushing (or not) My Teeth

12 Jan

OkCupid asks: How often do you brush your teeth? And I want there to be an “Almost twice a day” option. Because I almost do. Except when I forget once. Or twice.

I have a teeth cleaning coming up. She’s going to know all my secrets. I think I should take a few Ibuprofen before I get there.

Get out of bed. It’s 11 o’clock at night and if you don’t just do it soon then you’ll fall asleep before you get out of bed and then you’re gonna be really upset with yourself tomorrow morning.

No, you can’t have chocolate. If you have chocolate now then you’re going to have to get out of bed twice before you’re allowed to go to sleep and that’s all just too far away.

Do I even have toothpaste?

I forgot how much I hate mint. Why can’t toothpaste taste like chocolate? Then I’d brush my teeth a hundred times a day. My dentist would love me.

I think I just heard my roommate go to the bathroom. I should definitely not get up to brush my teeth now.

What if the bathroom tiles are cold?!

And now you absolutely can’t go brush your teeth because you just got an idea for something to write about. What if you went to brush your teeth and lost your train of thought and then never recovered that valuable material? The horror!

Jeez, there are some people who do this, happily, three times a day. People with really clean teeth. And probably really unhappy gums.

If you’re reading this then you’re not alone, you’re just probably a little gross; and should go brush your teeth. Unless you already did, in which case I’m jealous, because now I have to get up and brush mine.