Rights, Sanity

Feminism Weakening Men

I found these at Sociological Images.

I don’t know what I can really say about them other than that women gaining the right to vote did not end up weakening men.

Oh the horror.

This trope is one we see trotted out again and again.

It is based on fear.

Fear.

“True gender equality is actually perceived as inequality. A group that is made up of 50% women is perceived as being mostly women. A situation that is perfectly equal between men and women is perceived as being biased in favor of women.
And if you don’t believe me, you’ve never been a married woman who kept her family name. I have had students hold that up as proof of my “sexism.”
My own brother told me that he could never marry a woman who kept her name because “everyone would know who ruled that relationship.” Perfect equality – my husband keeps his name and I keep mine – is held as a statement of superiority on my part.”

– Lucy, When Worlds Collide: Fandom and Male Privilege.

 

Friendship, Guest post, Rights, Sanity

Guest Post – Throw Up Your Arms Into The Sky

From a brilliant and understandably upset friend of mine.  Just a reminder that the topics we address here and in the real world have real consequences to real people and we have to remember to be considerate:

I have friends who I disagree with. About a lot of things, in fact. From Middle East policy to programming languages, taxes to burrito joints, there are people who I argue with, who I get in discussions with, and who I value.

Some days, I’ll fight and argue about this stuff. On some topics, I won’t. I’m not interested in your theories on gay rights, in your debate tactics and points and counterpoints, because this isn’t an intellectual exercise, “these are my relationships,” I would say, “this is the part where my boss doesn’t meet my partner.” That’s a line in the sand that I’ve been willing to draw.

But for the first time with one of these friends, for one of these arguments, I’m considering calling it a day. I’m reminded of Melissa McEwan’s “The Terrible Bargain We have Regretfully Struck” where she speaks the truth, in a way that I feel again and again every time I read it.

There are the occasions that men—intellectual men, clever men, engaged men—insist on playing devil’s advocate, desirous of a debate on some aspect of feminist theory or reproductive rights or some other subject generally filed under the heading: Women’s Issues. These intellectual, clever, engaged men want to endlessly probe my argument for weaknesses, want to wrestle over details, want to argue just for fun—and they wonder, these intellectual, clever, engaged men, why my voice keeps raising and why my face is flushed and why, after an hour of fighting my corner, hot tears burn the corners of my eyes. Why do you have to take this stuff so personally? ask the intellectual, clever, and engaged men, who have never considered that the content of the abstract exercise that’s so much fun for them is the stuff of my life.

I’ve honestly never thought about what the type of argument that would end a friendship would be. If you asked high school me, I would imagine that she would think it would be some great falling out, with explosions and screaming matches and deep vows of never speaking to each other again. Now, it feels more like a deep pit in my stomach, an overwhelming desire to cry, and to ask myself where everything went so wrong.  It’s the desire to disengage, to ignore, to pull away, because this once-solid relationship where I found comfort is now a source of pain. I liked you, I would say, if I could bring myself to speak about this without feeling like I fulfilled some stereotype of typical feminine irrationality.

“I liked you. We were friends. How could you be like that? How could you look at the same set of facts as I did and come to a conclusion that hurting people, real people, is less important than your right to argue? Does it cause you so much frustration to examine your own privilege, to note that the experiences you have had are different from other people’s, that you would rather create things out of thin air?”

And

“When you tell me that what we’re talking about isn’t real, that it doesn’t matter, that my lived experience is an insufficient counter for your browbeating arguments, do you expect me to eventually agree? Do you think the strength of your rhetoric will somehow cause me to realize that everything I have seen, that all the expertise I have is less important than your guesses? Does our friendship mean so little to you that it is more important to be right than to listen? Do I mean so little to you that it is more important be right than not to hurt me?”

I guess, when that’s what you want to say to someone, they probably aren’t your friend anymore anyway.

Politics, Rights

Smoke On Your Pipe And Put That In!

My mom asked me today if I was going to write about marriage equality and I told her that I had nothing new to say about it.

Contrary to myth, Christianity’s concept of marriage has not been set in stone since the days of Christ, but has constantly evolved as a concept and ritual. Prof. John Boswell, the late Chairman of Yale University’s history department, discovered that in addition to heterosexual marriage ceremonies in ancient Christian church liturgical documents, there were also ceremonies called the “Office of Same-Sex Union” (10th and 11th century), and the “Order for Uniting Two Men” (11th and 12th century).

These church rites had all the symbols of a heterosexual marriage: the whole community gathered in a church, a blessing of the couple before the altar was conducted with their right hands joined, holy vows were exchanged, a priest officiated in the taking of the Eucharist and a wedding feast for the guests was celebrated afterwards. These elements all appear in contemporary illustrations of the holy union of the Byzantine Warrior-Emperor, Basil the First (867-886 CE) and his companion John.

Suck on that, Bristol Palin. (via sherlockable)

Marriage has been a moving target for it’s entire existence.  It has been evolving to suit the needs of citizens (read…men) forever.

Homosexuality is found in over 450 species.  Homophobia is found in only one.  Which sounds unnatural now?

Additionally the entire birth of marriage was basically about selling daughters off like chattel.  I’m all for moving into a new era where marriage isn’t “defined as one man and one woman”.  I think we can come up with a better definition than that.

Rights, Sisterhood

The Future’s So Bright My Uterus Needs Shades

I can’t tell you how pleased I was the other day to come across this article about how women who would have been voting republican have become disenchanted with the GOP’s war on women.

A rally for women’s rights in San Diego on Thursday drew Jessica Lopez, 27, a registered independent who said she voted for President George W. Bush in 2004. Ms. Lopez said her choice this year became clear amid the Republican debate on contraception and abortion. “This has really energized me, that I need to get more involved with the Obama campaign,” she said.

Ms. Lopez added: “The G.O.P. has never been so clear about their agenda for women. I’m afraid if we get a Republican president, my health will be up to their personal discretion.”

That’ll teach you to run a campaign on an anti-sex platform.  As Dan Savage says: Sex is popular.  People like sex.  Sex is going to win this battle.  Well, we can hope at least.

The future’s so bright, my uterus needs shades

Politics, Rights

Santorum For #Fail

What I imagine Rick Santorum does when confronted with things that are:

a) true.

b) not in line with what is in his heart (see ‘a’).

c) actual claims supported by actual facts.

d) gays.

e) vaginas.

I just imagine him getting very confused.  About life, about how to do mundane things.

Rick Santorum doesn’t always answer the telephone, but when he does, he even does that wrong.

Politics, Rights, Sex

All Female Panels On Boner Pills

I can’t in all honesty say I’m surprised that the panel at the ‘contraception debate’ looked like this:

because in body politics last year I read this:

Seeking an abortion does not make the uterus’ owner less feminine, or capable of being a fit parent than she was before.

It’s old white, non-uterus-having men who can’t manage to see the irony of an all male panel on women’s rights that perhaps should be classified as unfit.

And it is for this reason that I support protests that look like this:

Because it’s not unfair that women should make decisions for men if they make decisions for women.

“True gender equality is actually perceived as inequality. A group that is made up of 50% women is perceived as being mostly women. A situation that is perfectly equal between men and women is perceived as being biased in favor of women.
And if you don’t believe me, you’ve never been a married woman who kept her family name. I have had students hold that up as proof of my “sexism.”
My own brother told me that he could never marry a woman who kept her name because “everyone would know who ruled that relationship.” Perfect equality – my husband keeps his name and I keep mine – is held as a statement of superiority on my part.”

– Lucy, When Worlds Collide: Fandom and Male Privilege.

And it’s not like our reasoning wouldn’t be just as good (aka ridiculous) as theirs.

Politics, Queer, Rights

I Hope You Were Sitting Down

Alright, I’m going to write this and someone is going to get offended and I’m going to decide not to care.

I LOVE Ellen Degeneres.

There, I said it.

Unfortunately, vaginas aren’t my thing as you might be able to tell but some days I wish they were so I could be with her.

Hers is the only morning talk show that I can actually sit through, I love her in Finding Nemo, I want to be her best friend and boogie with her on TV.

I also think there is a good chance that she is the person making the most progress in the battle for equal rights for LGBTQ’s because come on, I think even a soulless member of the anti-gay right would pee their pants at this:

She’s gay, She’s one of the funniest people on TV and she just lives her life.  I love her.

I love her values, I love her fans, and I plan to find a JCPenny asap.  I love the peaceful way she brings this up and her attitude towards bullying.

I hope she runs for some office.  Those are the values that should be leading this country.

Abortion, Rights, Sisterhood

Knitted Uteri Also Make Great Stocking Stuffers

Some days just suck.  Lets fix today with some Ryan Gosling and doing something about it.

Click here to contribute to WOMEN VOTE! today so we can make sure women voters know which candidates are standing up for them. There’s no better way to help amazing candidates like Claire McCaskill and Tammy Baldwin win their critical races in November!

Can you help us by sharing your story about what Medicare means to you and what ending it would do to you or your loved ones?

Knit or crochet a uterus or vagina.

The best way you can make sure we’re there when we’re needed to fight back the attacks and work to protect and promote women’s health is to become a monthly Planned Parenthood Action Fund supporter.