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What Hasn’t Killed You Yet

20 Oct

So this whole Trump, sexual assault thing:

The problem isn’t that a crazy, entitled, abusive shit bag is running for president.

I mean, that’s a true statement. He is.

But I’m sure other shitty people have run for office before.

Surely at least one of them abused someone down the line. Life is long and just because a job is respected doesn’t mean that the people who take it are perfect. They cheat on their spouses, they sneak cigarettes, they own slaves. They’re humans and impacted by their time and place and society just like the rest of us.

The problem (but also maybe the opportunity) in the fact that a crazy, entitled, abusive shit bag is running for president is that we get to see people do the mental aerobics of re-defining sexual assault to suit their needs.

RUSH LIMBAUGH: You know what the magic word, the only thing that matters in American sexual mores today is? One thing. You can do anything, the left will promote and understand and tolerate anything, as long as there is one element. Do you know what it is? Consent. If there is consent on both or all three or all four, however many are involved in the sex act, it’s perfectly fine. Whatever it is. But if the left ever senses and smells that there’s no consent in part of the equation then here come the rape police. But consent is the magic key to the left.


I loathe Donald Trump but I’m not really worried he’s going to grab me by the genitals. This is due largely to proximity, and the fact that I’ve never had a problem with the fact that a penis can suffer a lot of pain without irreparable damage.

TWS: But beyond the language, would you characterize the behavior described in that as sexual assault if that behavior actually took place?

JEFF SESSIONS: I don’t characterize that as sexual assault. I think that’s a stretch.


What does scare me is that a significant portion of the population agrees with him.

I’m not worried that DJ Trump himself is going to grope me on the train. I’m worried that he’s broadcasting the inner monologue of someone I’m on a date with, or getting a ride from, or working an overnight with.

[Donald Trump Jr.] went on to say that if women feel harassed by the comments men want to make, they should just leave their jobs. “I’m of the mindset, and I’ll get in trouble… If you can’t handle some of the basic stuff that’s become a problem in the workforce today, you don’t belong in the workforce,” he said. “You should go maybe teach Kindergarten. I think it’s a respectable position. You can’t be negotiating billion-dollar deals if you can’t handle, like you know.” He didn’t elaborate on what he meant by “like you know.”


Someone who now feels additionally justified in their sense of entitlement to my body.

And that’s a valid fear.

It’s something that could actually kill me. Unlike moths.

The Gender Pay Gap Is Real And Complicated

11 Feb

Use These Tools For Good Please

21 Jan

This weekend I had a surprise visit from one of my most beloved long distance friendships.

And while we were brunching he said one of my favorite things.

One of the things I hate about being a black man writing about race is knowing that somewhere out there is some white dude who is going to take my opinion (as of this moment, knowing only what I know and feel as of today) and use it as gospel with which to abuse some other black person who happens to have a different opinion from me.

And if he doesn’t exist yet then just by writing it I’ll have popped him into existence.

I’m paraphrasing.

But you get the gist.

By being a part of this group I get to have an opinion based on my experiences. But that doesn’t mean that you get to take that opinion and run with it, ‘splaining it to everyone who might disagree with me. And worst, using it to abuse them and call them wrong, invalidate their experiences. You get to think a little deeper about the topic. You get to fold it into yourself and make more considerate decisions.

He meta’s even my metas.

Raise a glass to freedom.

Oy Trump Oy

12 Aug

I just read this article about Donald Trump treating Megyn Kelly like shit at the debate and I’m fuming. Unfortunately I have absolutely nothing to add to the article, it’s perfect just the way it is.

I know nothing about Megyn Kelly, I heard her name for the first time after the debate had already aired. But are we really surprised that Trump decided he had an issue with the one woman in the room that was, god forbid, questioning him? Did no one else see that coming when they turned on the TV?

The article breaks down Trump’s answer into 5 main components, each designed to dismiss the true nature of the question.

Step 1: Claim that the complaint is an exaggeration in order to imply that the complainant can’t be trusted

Step 2: Dismiss demands for respect and equality as mere “political correctness”

Step 3: Insist that this complaint is too minor to bother with when there are more important things to worry about

Step 4: Say it was just “fun”

Step 5: Pretend the complaint is really just about personal animosity [x]

This is a perfect recipe for dismissing valid claims and it works perfectly all across the country every day.

All I can say is be vigilant. Now that you know how the opposition plays you can have a more secure defense.

Regarding Sontag’s Judaism

16 Jan

Yesterday I watched a biography of Susan Sontag. I’m a bit embarrassed to say I haven’t read (or watched) any of her work before and her name kept coming up in articles, musicals, I was ready to see what the fuss was about and HboGo had a documentary.

I’m glad I watched it in general, she was certainly a fascinating woman.

But to me, the most important moment in the movie wasn’t about feminism or sexuality, it was about being a Jew.

I get asked a lot what it means to me to be Jewish and I never have a good answer. Well, now I know what my answer is.

Interviewer: Being Jewish—does it matter to you?

Sontag: It matters in the sense that I would always stand up and be counted any time that it mattered for other people. I’m Jewish because other people say I am and because that’s what I am sociologically or historically. I come from a family which generations ago belonged to a religious culture. [x]

I’m a Jew when it matters to other people, when it has mattered and when it matters again.

And that’s what makes Anti-semetic attacks scary, they’re on just that kind of Jew, which is to say all of them.

To be a Jew you don’t have to believe in G-d, only in being Jewish.


Makeup Tutorials For All Your Needs

29 Sep

I love this trend of political statement ‘makeup tutorials.’

Megan MacKay has a few really good ones like this one about cultural appropriator extraordinaire Urban Outfitters.

This one about the slut shaming Hobby Lobby decision.

I want to be her friend.

Michelle Fan has also been doing great ones for a while, like this one about religious insanitist Michele Bachmann.

And this one about abuse ignoring Joe Paterno.

And of course, one of my favorites, Anna Akana’s ‘daily’ routine.

Emma Watson For Heforshe

26 Sep

When I woke up this morning this was blasted across all of social media.

It’s a great speech, you should give it a listen.

And I keep thinking about her fitness for this appointment. Emma Watson isn’t my favorite person to watch act, but she might be one of my favorite actresses. I don’t enjoy watching her pretend to be another person but I do enjoy watching her be herself.

However, she is very popular, among men and women.

And if every guy who has ever jerked it with her in mind watched this video, then that would be a lot of views.

People talk about the power that beautiful women hold over men. I should hope so, and I hope we get to see it here.

Update: Instead of men responding positively to a woman they claim to have positive feelings towards asking for their help and participation, they threaten to sexually violate her.

Sometimes optimism is hard.