Bodies, Fun, Health, Intimacy, Media

Head Space

You know that moment in magic-y, thriller-y , sci-fi-antasy movies where the guy is like

Bend the spoon with your mind!

And Neo is like

Are you crazy? I can’t bend a spoon with my mind!

And the other guy is like

Don’t tell me you can’t do it. Don’t think about it, just do it!

And then he does it!?

That’s how I feel in a really good yoga class. If I stop thinking about how or why or whether I can do it then suddenly I can do things that are otherwise impossible. It’s magical, that feeling when you get an instruction and then your body does it without having to consult your brain. That reminder that your body is a thing that you can run around and play in, stretch and bend. The form of it isn’t bound by anything, not even your brain. Not even your imagination.

Your body can run off in the playground of someone else’s fantasy too.

The world is full of people who can tap you into that subspace where your body leads and your brain follows. Go find them!


All The Media

On a recent episode of pop culture happy hour a host was talking about how she could tell which episodes of The Handmaid’s Tale were directed by men and which ones were by women by their rape scenes. Most episodes in the series have them and if they made you feel ill then they were directed by women.

And when she said that I realized why Get Out was such an effective movie.

I struggle with how to keep this blog relevant for an intersectional audience. With all the privilege I carry around.

How do I make sure I’m being the change I wish to see? For everyone.

I guess step one is consuming and creating media in which people tell stories that make me feel that feeling. That even though I may never be at risk for an experience, I can see, smell and taste it, that it can turn my stomach too. And I can acknowledge simultaneously that I’m not at risk for it and that no one else should be either.


Terry Crews Is Amazing

Are you guys listening to Anna Faris’s podcast, Unqualified?

You should. And I’ll tell you what episode to listen to, episode 72 with Terry Crews. Terry Crews is amazing and I love him.

Click here to get it if you’re on your phone.

Click here for the website.

Prepare to love Terry Crews with all your might. Prepare for Terry Crews to unpack how he escaped the cult of toxic masculinity.

Gold. Pure gold.

Media, Sisterhood

Female Friends and Funny

I love “Inside Amy Schumer

One of the things I love about it is that I don’t find all of it funny.

There’s the political stuff that I love. There’s some really funny rape critical stuff, stuff about body shame, stuff about life as a woman.

But then there’s puke stuff. Because some women find puke jokes fucking hilarious. And Amy Schumer is one of those women. I suppose there’s a chance that that material is “whats gonna bring in male viewers” but that’s a lot of pressure to put on one sketch per episode.

Similarly, I love watching Grace Helbig and Mamrie Hart riff off each other because they are damn funny women. And because when they aren’t hindered by a studio, or a man breathing down their necks they spend their time trying to make the funniest person they know (each other) laugh harder than they just did.

And that passes the Bechdel test with ease.

Kyriarchy, Media, Sexism

The Bechdel Test In Numbers

When I left home for college I met the first person in my life who was all “feminism is bullshit, we don’t need it.” I had no idea how to respond. I’d never met someone like that before. My blood boiled, feminism was duh. Why you gotta be so dumb? And (worst of all) also have a pretty face I want to talk to? Argh! Conflict.

But here we have. Science, facts. The backup for that conversation that I was looking for then.

The charts are amazing.

The silence is brutal.


Love, Hate and Hannah Horvath

In college we read the play Proof. In one of the early scenes there’s a bit where the main character’s sister suggests she use a particular shampoo.

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The teacher said “it’s one of the great tricks of this playwright. You don’t know that hair is dead. You have no reason to be on Catherine’s side of this fight and yet instead of being on Claire’s team the entire audience is with Catherine, thinking her sister is an idiot.”

And that’s what I think of when people criticize HBO’ Girls and hate on Hannah Horvath. In season 5 there is a moment where Hannah goes away for the weekend with her mother and before bed her mother brushes her teeth.

“Hannah, aren’t you going to brush your teeth?”

I’m a morning brusher. I go at it hard in the morning.”

Immediately you hate Hannah. And remember that you did exactly the same thing last night. And have a certain amount of internal conflict about those two facts co-existing.

That, to me is the beauty of the show. That is why it’s so cringe worthy. It’s why we hate it and simultaneously can’t look away. It’s what makes it a brilliant slice of the early 2010s instead of trite hipster trash (well, maybe they’re not mutually exclusive). That’s what it means when I say the show is smart. That’s what it means when I defend a completely indefensible character.


Vocalize Your Multitudes!

I have a new musical guilty pleasure.

Women who do both the rap and singing sections of their songs.

I love how her voice flips from the chorus into the verses, dropping down from something falseto and thin into something strong and full. Full of all the multitudes of being a woman.

Yes, just make me feel all the feelings.

Deviant/Default, Kyriarchy, Media

Unlearn White Skin Being The Default


I’ve been looking at this and loving it for a while. I’ve been putting off posting it because I don’t know what I can really add to it.

But I think the answer is that I don’t have to add to it. I’m white, I’m gonna default to listening to others instead of thinking I have all the answers.


Adair You To Be Awesome

This is the most heartening thing I’ve ever seen.

Also, I want to point out that in the full news report the founders say “They’re pants for when you wanted to have a ‘lazy day'”

That’s what women say. I’m not having a lounge. I’m having a lazy day. Even when women want to have a little R&R they can’t help but use a negative word to describe how they do it. The words we use are important, their positivity can be important too.

Bodies, Dating, Media

Old School Sex Advice By Complete Morons

The full video is here, I couldn’t get it to embed but it’s great.

All The Shitty Things I Regret Writing, the name of the book that the ladies say should be the next in the series by these dead writers. I’d love to read that.

Sex advice that isn’t helpful to you can just go straight in the trash, do not pass go, do not collect $200.