As I stow my tray table and return my seat back to its upright position for my return to the dating pool I’m starting to actually enjoy the things I enjoy about dating.
I have a new favorite type of crush.
Noticing someone.
That feeling when you just know if they’re around. They mutter under their breath about the time and you’re suddenly highly aware of all clocks. If their eyes hit you, you know it, even if you’re pretty sure you weren’t looking at them. When they whisper something (friendly) in your ear because the music is loud and you notice that your neck is covered in skin.
I like this kind of crush because I feel in control. Not in control of liking them but of what I do. I want to be my best self in front of this new person to impress them and therefore myself. I don’t even need to want this person. They could even be in a relationship with someone else. It’s the lowest stakes crush.
That’s what feels so good. The stakes are where I can handle them. Nothing is expected of me. I can just enjoy the like.