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The Gift Of Self Love, Hopefully By Exposure

19 Jun

On Wednesday I posted this beautiful comic.

I didn’t talk about the mom though. Check out how satisfied she is. I love images of people who are invested in bringing out self-love in others.

I have… high self-confidence. Verbally.

You: Nice to meet you.

Me: I’m nice to meet.

And I catch a lot of heat for it. People think I’m stuck up, but let me ask you this, how could I be a narcissist when I don’t even know how to spell it?

But the truth is (I like to think) that the longer you spend around me doing that the more it rubs off on you. I can be proof that loving yourself doesn’t always have to be a struggle. And it can be practiced quickly and painlessly every day. This summer I’ve shown myself love by making iced tea and ice pops. And also by telling everyone around me how amazing I am.

Duh.

Taylor Swift’s Bad Blood With A Bad-Ass

25 May

I don’t know when it came out but I just saw the video for Bad Blood by Taylor Swift, featuring Kendrick Lamar.

And the person that she’s got bad blood with…

IS A WOMAN!

Yes Bechdel! Yes, not all Swift’s songs have to be about a boy!

The video does look a lot like Sucker Punch with it’s lineup of oversexed, underdressed heroine’s in bralettes and stilettos.

But let’s momentarily overlook that to notice all the butt-kicking women in it.

Lily Aldridge, Zendaya, Hayley Williams, Gigi Hadid, Ellie Goulding, Hailee Steinfeld, Lena Dunham, Karlie Kloss, Serayah, Jessica Alba, Martha Hunt, Ellen Pompeo, Mariska Hargitay, Cara Delevingne, Cindy Crawford, Selena Gomez.

That’s a pretty impressive list.

In my head each of the women was approached and asked what kind of hero, what kind of look and power they’d like to have.

Who knows if that actually happened of course, but a feminist can dream, can’t she?

It isn’t perfect but it was a great surprise considering I was expecting to see Swift in a field crying in a white dress with occasional flashbacks to kissing a tall white boy with great hair. And who needs that really?

I Love Amy Schumer

6 May

Today I watched the latest episode of Inside Amy Schumer.

An Episode, any episode, they’re all brilliant.

You know what I love about that show? It’s that it feels like it’s just the contents of her brain, spilled out all over the place, the good, the bad and the ugly. In any given episode there will be some amazing, subversive feminist pieces like this.

Or this

Or this

And there will also be other random stuff she finds funny like this

And her humor includes the gross and scatological.

I don’t love absolutely everything but she’s a person with a broad sense of humor. And I love that she’s allowed to express all of it.

How excited am I to see her movie? Very excited.

Friends For A Funeral

4 May

A wonderful old friend of mine (who I don’t see enough) recommended to me the other day that I should start listening to the Dear Sugar podcast.

She was right. It is delightful.

And the first episode that I listened to was #10, about friendships. In the episode a woman tells the story of her best friend helping her through the death of her mother. The feeling of having that best friend right alongside her in the first row with the family of the deceased.

And I realized that I never wrote an ode to the amazing friends who crossed the country to be with me when my father passed.

When I was just starting high school I befriended two other girls who happened to live in California. It’s a long story. But apparently, when our friendship developed and they found out that my dad was ill they decided that when he passed, whenever it was, wherever they were, they would come. I didn’t know this at the time. I only found out when they called me from the airport “We’re on our way!”

They sat right behind me and my family at the service, they answered every question I could think of, helped me pick out what to wear to the cemetery. They did all the things that a friend could do.

And I just wanted to say thanks. Because they’re amazing. Because friendship is an important and beautiful gift. We should all appreciate it more.

I Gave Up Dairy

20 Apr

Life has been really hard without cheese in it.

You really have no idea.

I live in New York, the pizza capital of the world.

But this girl is spot on.

And so is all her pizza.

On The Importance Of Not Liking Things

15 Apr

I don’t like open-toed shoes.

I don’t like sneakers that make my feet look wide.

I don’t like mushrooms.

It hurts to have things between my toes.

It hurts to drink milk.

It hurts to smell coffee.

If you dislike a thing it’s not a promise. It doesn’t mean you’ll never like that thing. It means “I’ll try it again when I’m good and ready, but for now no thanks.”

For something to hurt means “No. Maybe one day if I’m ready, but until then, NO.”

If you dislike something, or are hurt by something, it’s your prerogative to avoid it in the future. No one should make you try to like it before you’re ready.

And if they make you try it then you can spit it out in their hands. You have my permission.

I Haven’t Known What To Say

18 Mar

It’s been a while since I’ve written.

And this week I’ve been in a few places with lady friends and have said that.

And every time it was met by:

Well you can write about what happened to me the other day.

Which just made me remember what I liked about writing in the first place.

It’s a reminder that everyone walks through the world with questions, concerns, decisions, fears, events, memories and disabilities on their shoulders.

They’re all different but they all have that burning desire to be told nonetheless.

They’re all welling up like spit in our mouths, being swallowed instead of freed.

Tell me your story.

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