Be Safe Out There

A first trimester abortion takes three to five minutes. It is safer than giving birth. There is no cutting, and risk of infertility is less than 1 percent. Yet women come into the clinic all the time terrified that they are going to be cut open, convinced that they won’t be able to have kids after the abortion. The misinformation is amazing, but think about it: They are still willing to sacrifice these things because they know that they can’t carry the child at this moment. [x]

Statistically speaking 1 in 3 American women will have an abortion in their lifetime. And anecdotally speaking I can say that I’ve already had a number of friends tell me their stories, and they’re all healthy, fertile people on the other side of it.

On the other hand, it’s lore in my family that my great grandmother had an abortion after her 5th child was born and my entire family remembers her being sick. Really sick, for a really long time.

Legalizing abortion doesn’t make it more common, just safer.

Abortion, Media, Rights


So of course I went to ladypartsjustice.com and watched far too much of it even though it was midnight and I had an interview in the morning. My favorite part was John Fugelsang’s bit around minute 13 in the second part of the video.

So save the date for September 28th. Put it in your google cal like I did. And we’ll have a party or something. We’ll celebrate our rights to vote and seek legal medical procedures. I don’t know. We’ve got 9 months to think of something. If people can figure out what to name a kid in less time than that I’m sure we can plan a little party to celebrate our lady parts and their justice.

Abortion, Abuse, Bodies, Dating, Rights, Sex, Sexism

Now That I’ve Spent Some Time Looking For NSA Sex I Can Tell You Some Things I Look For

Air conditioning. You’re all the heating I need. It’s summer in New York. Enough said.

Good judgement. Have condoms, carry them and insist on using them. Suggest meeting in public. Be the guy who proves he has nothing to hide by being willing to prove he has nothing to hide. Make me comfortable.

If I acknowledge that you will never be my primary partner, acknowledge it too. If I say I don’t want to be in a romantic relationship with you, then I mean it. This isn’t a romantic comedy. Listen to the words coming out of my mouth. I mean them.

Be honest if you’re getting in over your head. Thought you could handle this but realized it isn’t for you? That is so completely okay. Thank you for being honest with me, it’s a quality I look for in my friends and everyone I allow into my life. I respect you so much more for it. Wanna meet my friend Amy? She’s really cute and just made of girlfriend material.

Ask lots of questions about what I want/like. Let’s be clear with each other. If we’re all in this to have a good time then let’s have the best time we can have. In fact I’d ideally like us to be as clear and specific with how we’re feeling as my friend is here describing his self-induced pain.

And I want you to be OK with me laughing at you like he is with me putting this up here to be laughed at by all our friends.

Know that my body is mine to do who and what I please. My body, my choice. You certainly have the right to know how much other company I keep but though you have the right to be kept in the loop and though your concerns will be considered I make all choices concerning my body.

Be a person who makes this world safe for women. Dan savage had a rant on episode 345 of his podcast (it’s the first 8 or so minutes of the podcast so go listen) where he talked about how the best way for men to get a hold of No Strings Attached sex is to combat rape culture. Also, I transcribed the following myself so do me a favor and read it.

“Men are scary, men are dangerous. And we live in a sexist misogynistic violent culture where women are abused with impunity… Most women are too smart to take those kinds of risks. Not that some dont want to… if you want there to be more women out there in the world who are up for a casual hookup or a one-night-stand, or a rando encounter, or a fantasy fulfillment session, you should work to combat rape culture. You should work to combat violence that targets women, you should work against prevailing attitudes of so many other straight guys in your orbit who say sexist shitty, rapey things about women.

Every time they do that it really negatively impacts your ability to get laid. It really does. If what you want is a rando, impulsive, YOLO encounter, rape culture, rapey attitudes, shitty things men do and say about women when women aren’t around, that blocks you. That cock-blocks you. If what you want is for straight women to be a little bit freer, a little bit more like gay men, you should combat rape culture.

Of course you should care about this shit whether or not your dick gets wet. I care about this shit and I’m not trying to get my dick into any ladies at all. Right? I care about there being less violence, less sexual violence, less rape, less unplanned pregnancies, less poor women denied access to abortion when they need abortions because I care about women. Even though I don’t want to get my dick wet in a woman.

If you love women, if you’re attracted to women you should really care about this shit. Regardless of whether it gets your dick wet in the end. But guys push back hard against rape culture, make the world safer for women. A world where women aren’t raped, aren’t a target for sexual violence, aren’t abused by their partners, aren’t slut-shamed when they do choose to be sexually active. You are likelier to get laid in that world. And your female friends, relatives, daughters, sisters, wives, less likely to be raped. There’s a lot in it for you pushing back against this shit.

And when I say you should combat rape culture I don’t mean you just stand there going “oh, yeah, rape is bad” whenever there’s a woman around or a woman in the room… you should be “rape is bad” to your male friends because again, when straight guys encourage this culture of regarding women as only objects- I’m pro-“people are objects” at times. I’m pro-objectification. We all want to be objects now and then but we are not all only objects, none of us is only an object. Even the people we objectify shouldn’t always only be objects to us. But if you dont speak up when women are objectified in violent and nasty and degrading and demeaning ways, that’s gonna interfere with your ability to get your dick wet. Wanna get your dick wet more often? Speak up for and defend women… Speak up for all women if you wanna get your dick wet. There’s something in it for you.

-Dan Savage [x]

Abortion, Rights, Sisterhood

Knitted Uteri Also Make Great Stocking Stuffers

Some days just suck.  Lets fix today with some Ryan Gosling and doing something about it.

Click here to contribute to WOMEN VOTE! today so we can make sure women voters know which candidates are standing up for them. There’s no better way to help amazing candidates like Claire McCaskill and Tammy Baldwin win their critical races in November!

Can you help us by sharing your story about what Medicare means to you and what ending it would do to you or your loved ones?

Knit or crochet a uterus or vagina.

The best way you can make sure we’re there when we’re needed to fight back the attacks and work to protect and promote women’s health is to become a monthly Planned Parenthood Action Fund supporter.

Abortion, Rights, Sanity

Thank You For Legalizing The Murder Of Pregnant People

Today a really fun article popped up in my Reader.

Santorum misses the days of back-alley abortions. Don’t you?

with this video

Thank you, “pro-life” Republicans, for fighting to bring back that golden age of death, incomplete abortions, sepsis and shadows!

And if you’re curious how the last few years of GOP power have affected things:

A 30-year-old Polk Township man has been arrested for his role after a 13-year-old girl performed a self-induced abortion using a pencil. Michael James Lisk has been charged with rape and concealing the death of a child.

State police were alerted to the case on Sunday after staff at Lehigh Valley Hospital treated the girl, who said she conducted the “home abortion” on herself using a lead pencil last Wednesday.

She subsequently became violently ill and began having contractions before ultimately delivering a baby at her residence. (emphasis mine) [x]

Or from the ER doctor’s perspective:

I opened the vagina and by feel clamped through the holes on either side of the uterus where I knew from experience I would find the uterine arteries, the likely site of the puncture. I didn’t know which side, and at that point it didn’t matter. I just needed to stop the blood flow. It took less than a minute. She would have bled to death if I had opened her belly.

As the bleeding had stopped, it was up to the anesthesiologist to fix the hematologic tempest. A vascular system so traumatized by sheer blood loss that it had run haywire and lost the ability to clot. Disseminated intravascular coagulation. This is how many young women die when an abortion goes wrong.

The urologist, a grizzled older man with whom I had nothing in common except a medical degree and this patient, rested his hand on my shoulder. It was a kind, fatherly gesture. The weight was comforting.

“You done good.” He said. And then he added, “Those bastards.”

I knew he was referring not just to the physician who did this procedure, but to everyone in society who had contributed to a disadvantaged woman finding herself in such a desperate situation. [x]

Need I say much more?


You’re The Nicest Thing I’ve Ever Seen

Next time someone heaps their anti-choice bull at me I’m going to call them a fascist.

Being pro-life means that you think I shouldn’t have an abortion because it offends your personal beliefs.  Should we define the word personal?

Or is it that I can’t have personal beliefs because as a walking, talking incubator I can’t be a person.

You know, I really don’t understand the anti-abortion philosophy.
I mean, saying that abortion should be illegal is so ignorant to the wants and needs of A LOT of people.

It’s like saying that your neighbor 4 houses down the street can’t get a cat because you don’t want one.


Rick Dankert