Just Practice Being A Good Person

12 Jan

There’s a thing that people do sometimes that I find very attractive.

Was that alright? Your shoulders dropped when I did that.

Oh, he didn’t like that. Maybe we should check in on him.

I think he’s feeling really awkward right now.

Emotional intelligence is one of the most attractive qualities to me.

Someone the other day called it a feminine trait.

And any time someone tells me that a quality is inherently masculine or feminine my reaction is to ask why. Not necessarily aloud, often to myself. Why would that be a feminine quality? Why would reading the room help women more than men?

I think it’s valued more highly in women. Women are encouraged to hone this skill more than men are. If women don’t notice the little cues then they could be in immediate danger, whereas if men don’t they’re pretty much instantaneously forgiven boys will be boys.

So more women have more practice, it becomes a feminine trait. But it’s not that men are incapable. It’s not that having the skill makes them less manly.

It’s just that a larger percentage of women than men have had that much practice.

So stop calling listening a feminine trait. It’s bull and it gives men the excuse not to practice it. Expect more.

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