How Selfish Am I?

25 Sep

But really, scale of 1 to 10.

People tell me that I jump too quickly. About the people I date.

I usually know pretty quickly if you’re someone I want to see again or not. I can be convinced to give more chances of course, but it’s rare that I’m wrong about the quality that concerned me. And then it’s that quality that tears us asunder. I can convince myself to keep seeing you in the hopes that the things I like start to outweigh that thing, but I can also jump ship because I know that the thing that I need will indeed be a thing I need.

So don’t tell me that I’m doing it wrong. I’m doing it exactly right for me. And I’m saving us both the heartache of letting you think I’m going to fall for you.

People say that relationships are made up of compromises. They are. And it’s your job as your own keeper to be on the lookout for the other person asking you to give up one thing too many, the thing that would make you cease to be you. That last straw. And call Mercy on it. Throw the cargo overboard and jump and pray that you float. Cause that ship isn’t for you anymore, so you might as well get out now.

Sometimes it’s easier than others.

So I’m not selfish, I just know what I’m capable of. Every new person I drag over the brambles of my heart teaches me something new about what I can and can’t accept.

I’m not selfish, I’m stronger.

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