I’m In A Funk

29 May

I’m in a funk.

All I want to do is watch Netflix and tell everyone to piss off. It’s all I can think about. And it’s not helping me out of the funk.

But I’m allowed to be in a funk.

I’ve worked hard lately, I’ve done great things. And I’m allowed to spend a few days doing relatively little, feeling all the feels and enjoying the fantastic company of my numero uno.

A few years ago I called up a friend in the middle of the weekend. She’s had manic depression for years and I wanted to know what the depression felt like. Did what I felt qualify as depression? What she said was that what I was feeling was grief. Grief mixed with guilt that I didn’t deserve to be sad. That other people had it worse and I should put the sadness away and be better, be more grateful, be putting better feelings out into the world.

When I was a kid it was helpful when I threw a fit, “Did you eat today? Do you have clothes on your back? Do you have shoes on your feet? Good, I thought so. Stop crying and do your homework please.” But as an adult now, that qualifies as advice that isn’t always helpful.

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