Some people function best living a polyamorous life.
However, some people use it as a crutch.
Someone recently told me that he chose to lose someone he loved rather than give her the closed relationship she wanted. When I asked him why he did it he said he was scared.
What are you scared of?
I don’t know.
He never could answer the question.
After talking with each of them here is what I think he is scared of:
You are so afraid of not being sufficiently loved that you’re spreading the responsibility of loving you among multiple people in the hopes that losing just one won’t hurt too badly. You’re so afraid of someone taking your entire heart when they leave that you’re willing to inflict that pain on everyone you date by hurting them before they hurt you. You will push these partners away one by one, and this coping mechanism of yours will turn the fear into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I’ve solved the mystery.