Just Watching Beyonce’s VMA Performance and Crying

8 Sep

There’s a lot of stuff going on in the world that I want to and don’t have the words to talk about. Other people have spoken about Ferguson  so much better than I can. There’s the girl carrying around a mattress which seems to actually be getting people to pay attention to sexual assault on college campuses. This world is full of people busily making a mess of it. So instead of making myself sad with all of that I decided to watch Beyonce’s VMA performance instead. I thought it would be a light use of 15 minutes. And now I’m crying. Here are my thoughts from the 15 minute video (which apparently WordPress has a hard time presenting. Just click the link):

I love the mixture of park-n-bark and dancing (in a way that allows her to also sing) and also choosing to just dance. It’s the opposite of the Katy Perry lipsync catastrophy and live singing mess. Beyonce designed this routine so she could dance when she wanted to dance and sing when she wanted to sing.

Dude, she is using that microphone! I cant present that as fact obviously, but I love that I even believe it.

A lot of the lyrics I heard in a new way watching her enjoy them. “Don’t be so scared just do what I tell.” She isn’t bossy, she is THE boss and you can do what she tells.

I love the afros! I love the natural hair. I love seeing all her dancers together, it feels like everyone is represented.

Anyone who saw her in Dreamgirls knows that Beyonce isn’t a great actress. The caveat being, when she’s singing. And maybe it’s because when she’s singing she doesn’t have to fake anything, she just goes with a feeling. That’s certainly what it feels like here.

There are no costume changes for her! It makes me feel like she’s just laying all her cards out. “These are all facets of me. One me.” and it feels like there are no special effects, it’s just her performing herself.

“How did you wake up today?” This was probably my favorite part of the performance. The way she said that and sang the song gave me so much hope. It felt like she was thinking “If I can get them to sing it out loud, if I can dance hard enough then they’ll believe it. They’ll actually believe they’re flawless.”

I LOVE the joy on her face as she listens to Blue’s voice swim and reverberate all around her. The pride and the pleasure. It’s really beautiful.

Also, the other musicians in the audience reacting to her is amazing. Taylor Swift enjoying the hell out of it and also knowing she can’t compare. Even better though is the jealousy etched into the “bored” faces of the Jenner girls and that couple standing next to Swift who look like they want to jump off a cliff.

P.S. I watched it a second time and cried again.

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