Just ASK

11 Aug

One of my closest friends keeps saying things about her reproductive system that aren’t true. The other day we were complaining about periods and she said “It’s a dead egg.”

Nope.

While she tossed and turned like a 7-year-old refusing to listen to her mom I continued to explain to her that the fallopian tube which the egg travels down is only the size of three hairs, so the egg is tiny. And that it passes out of your body about 10 days before your period with your regular discharge and you don’t even notice it. Your period is the shedding of the uterine lining which the egg (if fertilized) could have implanted itself into and then became a zygote.

She pretended not to listen because it’s gross, but I know she did because it’s freaking interesting.

She thinks it’s not important to understand how her body works.

I suppose she thinks it’s embarrassing to have these conversations.

I think nothing could be more embarrassing than not knowing though.

“I had a patient come in for an STD check. She was very upset and continued to tell me that she only had one partner. Progressing through my assessment, she further divulged that even if he was sleeping with other people it shouldn’t matter ‘because he uses a condom every time and he makes sure to wash it thoroughly after every use’.”

“I had a couple who had been trying to conceive for over two years. I asked all the usual questions, how often do you have sex, any previous pregnancy, etc etc. Something seemed off to me during the consult, so I continued to ask questions. Finally I asked if he ejaculated while inserted into the vagina. Both parties looked confused. Turns out the couple was not having insertional sex at all. I had to awkwardly explain to them how insertional sex works. Diagrams were required.”

“Patient comes in, she’s upset. She’s pregnant, and she doesn’t understand why. She’s on the pill. Upon talking to her at great length, I find out that she only takes the pills on the days that she is sexually active – no other time.”

“Patient comes in with her bf. They are indignant, as if somehow I could’ve prevented [the pregnancy]. The problem? Well, the pills were bothering the girl’s stomach, so, being a gallant bf, he decided to start taking them instead.”

If any of these stories don’t make you chuckle then get thee to a sex ed professional now. And then go chastise your parents for voting for someone who supported abstinence only education in the district where you grew up.

One Response to “Just ASK”

  1. Anonymous August 14, 2014 at 2:18 pm #

    Hahaha i loled so hard at the last few pics of the pill stuff and cleaning the condom

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