I Take And I Leave

9 Jul

One of my latest (and longest lasting) obsessions in the last few months is Dessa, a female… musician. I’m not going to put her into a category. She sort of raps, she sort of sings, she sort of is amazing and reads my soul.

She has lines in her songs that make me think about them for days like

My mother says I’ve loved too many men But I took and left something in every single bed

Which makes me reexamine the concept of the slut.

Because the language is so active. I took and left something. I acted, I was not acted upon.

Rapgenuis.com says of the lyric:

Dessa has been with a lot of guys and it is implied that she’s slept with them. But she’s justifying this by saying that it was fair. She gave and got something out of it. Sometimes society makes it seem like it’s okay for men to sleep with tons of women, but if a woman gets with tons of guys she’s automatically a slut. Dessa’s like “Uh-uh. It was a fair trade. We’re both equally responsible and I make my own decisions.”

That’s what Dessa does to me, with a single line she can leave me thinking for weeks about the way “slut” implies passivity and I’d much rather be sleeping around in Dessa’s definition, one where I DO. Actively.

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