Niño. Long Hair, It Isn’t Complicated.

5 May

Today, I saw this title on xoJane.com

MOMMIE DEAREST: MY SON’S LONG HAIR GETS HIM MISTAKEN FOR A GIRL

And decided it was time to tell a little story from my childhood.

Now keep in mind that until he turned 13 (and cut and donated it just like his big sister) my brother had long, thick, jewish hair. Longer than I’ve had mine in years.

IMG_3192

One beautiful Saturday afternoon after my brother and I had each played our respective soccer games (like all good Brooklynite children) and gone to synagogue (like all good Brooklynite children), my mom took us out for mani-pedi’s at the local salon (like all good Brooklynite children). My parents worked in immigration law and had helped this woman get her paperwork so we got a discount.

My mother pointed to her children and the woman behind the desk said niñas.

My mother pointed to me “niña” and my brother “niño.”

My mother speaks as little spanish as I do so the woman behind the desk tried to correct her, shaking her head “niñas”

Which is when my mother reminded us all of who she is. She pointed to my brother and said “No. niño.” while mime jerking off with her left hand.

The woman behind the desk shrieked in laughter until my mom said “Yeah, he needs a pedicure, his toenails are insane,” and we all sat down.

My mother, causing heart attacks since 1952.

One Response to “Niño. Long Hair, It Isn’t Complicated.”

  1. Kati May 5, 2014 at 5:56 pm #

    Oh man… love it!

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