To me, Natalie Dormer’s character on Game of Thrones is the perfect model of flirtation.
Some of Margaery Tyrell’s flirtation is sexual, obviously. She’s a woman who has to trade on her marriageability to get what she wants. However, what I love about Margaery is that she is a flirt in her bones. She has mastered flirtation and seduction as valuable life skills. Beyond just the sexual.
She appeals. She isn’t just appealing, but she appeals, as a verb, to people. She uses her listening skills, her ability to present herself with a level of vulnerability to get people to tell her what they want, which she can then use to get what she wants.
We think of seduction and flirtation as dirty or bad but they really aren’t. They’re just tools in the hands of the beholder. And it’s up to her to decide if they’ll be used for good or for evil.