An exceptional person and friend of mine called me last week and, as we do, we got talking about body hair. She just enrolled in Aesthetician school, but was recently employed as a phone sex operator.
I don’t know how we got on this topic but she was telling me about how her mother used to shame her about having visible hair on her legs when she was a kid. How her mother has always had thin, light hair and was upset by her daughter having dark hair on her thighs.
As a Jewess myself I can sympathize with that.
And we realized that something that really helped us get past the shaming we experienced was, for her being a PSO and for me, porn. It’s something that I first thought about when I watched this video debating the merits of porn in general. The woman defending porn argued that anything a woman dislikes about her body is potentially something that a consumer can love about her body and can potentially take her from a place of shame to a place of self-love.
And for me, clicking around and seeing tags like “hairy” and just knowing that someone, or some large group of someones was sitting at home and choosing that specific search term, not because they had some hirsutism fetish, but because they just like women who for one reason or another don’t make hair removal a top priority, was really refreshing. It was really nice to see that for all the people who have made negative comments on women with body hair, there are people sitting on the other side, who love it, though they might not always be as vocal.
I’m not against hair removal. I’m a feminist because I want to fight for your right to remove your hair or keep your hair because whatever choice you make is what you want to do.
But for all of the tropes about hairy feminists being unattractive or unlovable, it’s nice to see IN PRACTICE that they’re wrong.
We can be loved. And lusted after.