Zepeel

1 Nov

So, the other day I got a message via the blog and was so honored to be asked to review something on my illustrious blog I actually decided to do it.

Hello,

It is my great pleasure to present our newest app!

App Store: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/zepeel/id572057627?ls=1&mt=8
Website: http://www.zepeel.com
Trailer Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2HEkqTTIuw

We have been working on this project for some time now and would like to inform you Zepeel is live on the Apple App Store. Zepeel is a 100% mobile and video interactive dating app. We have launched exclusively on Apple’s iOS platform. Zepeel uses video-based profiles, messaging and chat to help singles make a stronger, more real connection online.

It would mean a lot if you could find the time to take a look at our app and blog or write about us. All feedback is more than welcome whether it is positive or negative. We appreciate your time. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Shannon Toshack
Public Relations Manager
Zepeel Inc.
Zepeel – a 100% mobile and video interactive dating app

Oh, Shannon, way to make me feel important.

Unfortunately the app is a mess. I’m actually excited to write this review because it means I can finally delete it from my phone.

The app isn’t designed in a way that makes me like anyone on it. At first glance you can see a tiny thumbnail of a face, a name, an age and a city, state. Tap on one and you’ll have the option to see a “profile” which consists of nothing further than gender, height, ethnicity, and whether this person drinks, smokes or does drugs, all answered via multiple choice options. Or, conversely, you can see their search preferences in those areas.

Or you can tap the main button to send a message “to encourage XXXXX to record a profile video to hear about him interests and what he is looking for in a partner”

When I joined the network (I hesitate to use the word ‘site’ as there is no site, just the app) I decided to jump in and recorded a series of 1-minute-long videos on different topics like the app asked for. Either I was the only person who did that or the app is hoarding them for some reason because I’ve never seen a single video made by another person on this app.

Basically, you can’t know anything about a person until after sending them a prescribed invitation to send you a video. It’s really awkward.

And the absolute death of course is that there is no one cool there because all the cool kids are on OKCupid and Tinder. Critical mass of singles: as yet unreached. If I sign in once a month I might find one new person and they’ll be living in another state.

Basically, the app boasts that by being basically OKCupid but with all video instead of written text you can get to know each other faster, while in reality there is no incentive to make any videos at all (other than to write a review apparently) and without anyone telling you who they are outside of their height, weight and race no one sounds charming or attractive at all.

Verdict: Zepeel, go home, you’re drunk.

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