What Is This Feeling?

23 Sep

So there’s this guy. And I want him like a snake bite wants an antidote. Every time I see him, hug him, feel him smile at me, hear a word he says, I just want to strip him down wherever we are and gobble him whole. It’s the most visceral reaction I’ve had to anyone in a while, and I want to indulge the shit out of it. His skin on mine is the stuff of dreams, his palms so warm on my upper arm, his thumb across my lower lip, the crushing weight of his chest on mine.

And yet even as I think about him and how many hours it’s been since I’ve seen him and how he’s certainly not even thinking about me, I read these poems about love, look at pictures of couples with their libraries and music collections mixed together.

And somehow I know that we don’t get that together. It just wouldn’t work. I see no future in these cards at all.

And yet I’m ruining myself praying he even spends one moment thinking of me today, and hating knowing that he isn’t, and that he’s flirting with some other girl because why not.

Is there a name for this stupidity?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: