A friend of mine was asking for boy advice the other day.
The guy he was dating totally blew him off after they made plans to go out that night. He clearly believed in “ask forgiveness later” over “ask permission now.” Not always the worst policy but also not always the best.
So the next day this guy called and apologized and tried to reschedule, and my friend was asking me if he should forgive him.
When someone you care about makes you feel bad about yourself apologies don’t really help. You like him so seeing him feel bad, feel sorry, doesn’t make you feel better.
I don’t want you to apologize, I know you’re sorry. I want you to show that I’m important to you, that I’m worth an extra 5 minutes or hour of your time, that the things I care about are important to you simply because I care about them and you care about me. And an apology doesn’t do that. So shut up and do.