My friend called me the other day (to ask me about Jello Wrestling) while I was in Sephora looking at green glittery eyeliners. And I realized that while I like the way that putting on makeup in the morning makes me feel, like a warrior, self-indulgent, vibrant. I don’t like the way shopping for makeup at the big stores usually makes me feel, clinical, cheated, pimply.
And as I was talking about this with her she started telling me about how now that she’s an adult she’s starting to remember all the things her mother said to her when she was a kid that messed with her sense of self and her body image.
How as a normal sized 12-year-old her mother told her she was fat and put her on a diet. Or told her she had pimples and took her to a dermatologist. Or whatever else. It’s never just one body issue we get from our mothers, it’s usually a small suitcase full.
Maybe you and your daughter both have thick thighs or wide ribcages. It’s easy to hate these non-size zero body parts. Don’t. Tell your daughter that with her legs she can run a marathon if she wants to, and her ribcage is nothing but a carrying case for strong lungs. She can scream and she can sing and she can lift up the world, if she wants.
Remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul.
For everyone who is starting to realize all the ways the world has told them they weren’t good enough. Those aren’t your issues. And they don’t have to be.