Asexuals and Friend-Love

17 Jun

On The Savage Lovecast this week there was an interview with David Jay from which I liked a lot.

One of the things he talked about was how asexuals have really important intimate relationships, which may or may not be romantic. Asexuals aren’t alone, they have meaningful friendships just as important to them as a sexual relationship would be to others.

And I completely understand that. That’s how I’ve always felt.

I enjoy my sexual and romantic relationships as much as any other sexual person does but I have a few really intimate friendships that probably rival the intensity of those asexual partnerships. And sometimes I wonder if this is normal. And then I take a snarky look at the word normal and tell it to buzz off.

No wonder I get defensive when people describe romantic relationships as being “more than friends.” I still regularly have sleepovers with my friends just so I can get more hours in with them in a week.

Next family reunion maybe I won’t bother telling anyone who I’m sleeping with (the information they’re all dying for) but instead about the much more important people in my life.

Bonus question: I adopt the vocabulary of asexuals because it helps me express how much I love the people in my life. Is that appropriation or not?

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