Beauty Tips From An Ugly Duckling

6 Mar

I’ve been reading some beauty blogs lately and I figured, I have a face, I have a body, I can do that!  So here are some of my favorite things.

Lippy

Ok, so I generally don’t always agree with the things Jenna Marbles says about women in general.  I don’t generally agree with anything anyone says about ‘women in general.’ However, skip to 2:15 because girl is pretty spot on.

Jenna Marbles’s statement in this video is pretty much 100% right but lately I’ve changed the paradigm.  I am an exclusively item girl (I’m still looking for a better way to say that in words). here are my two items.

Dior Addict Lip Glow.  I use this when I want to feel pretty.  It’s annoyingly expensive but it lasts for months and is cheaper than buying 30 different less-awesome lippys.  Also, the next one is so dirt cheap it makes up for it.

Bacitracin.  I use this when I’m working and don’t want to feel super fancy (that’s what the Dior is for).  It’s kinda like generic Neosporin but less… Neosporin-y. It was about 3 dollars and I’ve had it for over a year and still going strong.  Word to the wise, don’t keep it in the same pocket as safety pins which might open.  I’m just gonna leave that one there.

Body wash

Baking soda.  Put it in some tupperware and leave it in the shower.  Did your brand new dark jeans leave your legs with dark blue streaks where the seams were?  Scrub this shit on.  Skin dry?  Scrub away girlfriend.  

Facewash/Acne wash

Baking soda and honey.  Put it in some tupperware, leave it in the shower.  Scrub that shit on your acne parts.  Face, Back, go for it.

Lotion 

I’ve been using Coconut oil exclusively for a few months now and to be honest I’m not the most thrilled person in the world.  It takes a while to soak in and gets all over your computer keyboard.  I would suggest you shower and then slather it on right before bed.  It’s very soothing and then you won’t touch anything that doesn’t want to get oily, ie, computer keyboard, floor, phone screen.  On the plus side it’s cheap as dirt considering how long you can use it for.  

The best use for it by far:  If you have little bumps on the back of your upper arms (if you do then you know what I’m talking about), scrub them with baking soda and then slather this on.  Just once or twice and voila, gone.  The flip side of that of course is that those bumps have never and probably will never bother me.  But if they bother you then voila, enjoy.  

For an improved mood

Taylor swift.  Works even better when you’ve got a boy singing it at you in an adorable attempt at pitch.  

Feeling too serious about the world?

Get yourself some silly Lolita sunglasses.

To cover bruises on your legs from working or moving.

Body hair.

I hope that helps!  Got any beauty queries I can help you with?  Ask away!

One Response to “Beauty Tips From An Ugly Duckling”

  1. jwalkerella@gmail.com March 7, 2013 at 9:54 am #

    LOL – body hair..

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