My Slut Kit

2 Mar

Or

How To Be A Single (or not) Lady in New York

In New York a lady has to be pretty economical about what she puts in her purse. Whatever is in my bag right now is going everywhere I go until I get home whether that be in an hour or in three days. And sometimes I don’t know which it’s going to be. And sometimes it can change at the drop of a hat.

Here is a list of things I keep in the front pocket of my bag at all times.

Protein bars. For giving to homeless people or just to avoid paying for food. These are surprisingly filling and come in a big box at Costco. If I’m really starving but don’t have time to eat they’re perfect.

Condoms. I think I grabbed some free ones at a bar a few months ago (decent Lifestyles ones, NOT the NYC ones). Carrying condoms is like getting STI tested every 6 months. It might be embarrassing to tell your mother (damn you slut-shaming patriarchy!) but it really just makes you a good citizen. What if your BFF meets the love of her life and he’s flying back to Ireland in the morning and neither of them are packin’? Have you ever had to buy condoms at a corner bodega after leaving a bar at 3am? Did you have to wander around looking for an ATM beforehand? No? Well then take it from me, just do yourself/someone else at the bar a favor and toss a pair of condoms in your purse (it’s safer than the one he keeps in his wallet). Also, your friend who keeps bragging about his awesome waterproof iPhone case? When he leaves it on the table to get up to pee wrap it in a rubber.

Tampons. I like the little finger-me-sallys which take up practically no space (P.S. is anyone else annoyed that there is only one brand of applicator-less tampons in the US?). Also, no applicator means no danger of this.

A pantyliner. If you start your period you’ll want it and if you sleep over at someones house and have to wear the same clothes to work the next day (yeah, you’re a professional grown up person just like me) you’ll feel a little less gross if you’ve got another layer between yourself and yesterday’s vaginal discharge.

A contact case full of solution. I started doing this when I started wearing contacts in high school.  Eyes get itchy?  Stay at rehearsal late?  Had a beer and feel tired?  Having an unexpected sleepover?  No problem.

And for bonus points

Neutrogena Makeup Remover Cleansing Towelettes. If you get these in bulk at Costco and they’ll come with two travel size versions to toss in your purse.

And to accompany that

Travel size mascara.  My best friend got me some samples of some great Clinique mascara that I toss in my purse if I’m going out after work.

That’s it.  You could probably even fit it all in your favorite Lisa Frank pencil case and transfer it from purse to purse

One Response to “My Slut Kit”

  1. jwalkerella March 3, 2013 at 8:03 am #

    You forgot the pack of mints for a fresh clean on the go! The green kind are better but the white are acceptable if you must.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: