5 Reasons I’m Not Leaving Facebook Even Though That’s What All The Cool Kids Are Doing

8 Feb

1) I’m not a cool kid.  Who are we kidding?  I need facebook so I can stalk all the cool kids!  How many times in the last month have I tried to show some cute guy to my friend and exasperatedly exclaimed ‘Damn it, he’s not on facebook!  Just trust me he’s cute ok!’ and we all secretly know that just based on his lack of a newsfeed he’s actually too cool for me.  He probably even wears bowties.  He might have been photographed in a fez.  But alas, now we’ll never know.

2) FemaleGazing!  According to the very official ‘stats’ page from WordPress, I get a third of my traffic from people creepin’ me on the book of faces.  I like page views.  I’m never giving that up.

3) I actually do feel closer to people I don’t see very often.  A few weeks ago I finished a great book and made my status “Please tell me someone else has read Gone Girl. That ending! That ending!!!”  Within an hour I was exchanging messages with someone I haven’t seen since I was 18.  It was actually really great.  Also, read Gone Girl.  That ending!  That ending!

4) My job is all about networking.  My last great job I got at a bar over whiskeys.  I want to be findable.  I don’t want to miss out on anything (especially work) because I thought I was too cool to lurk around on facebook.

5) It doesn’t distract me.  The most common reason people cite for leaving Facebook is that it was too easy to procrastinate with.  Yes, there is a lot of stuff to look at via Facebook.  There is just so much Facebook to look at.  But have some self control people!  My rule is that I don’t sign in to Facebook on anything other than my laptop and my phone.  If I’m working in an office I don’t sign in on that computer.  And honestly my phone’s terrible battery stops me from checking FB while I’m out and about.  Plus, I’d rather get home at the end of a long day and feel really popular when I have 5 notifications than open the app each time I get a push notification and then feel… less popular later.

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