Things That Bother Me

31 Jan

Here are some things that scare me:

Sometimes when I interact with a guy I get so impressed when he shows the common decency of treating me like his equal.  Listening to me and weighing my suggestions equally with his own.

Sometimes when I meet someone and I think I like him, I feel so confident and cool and beautiful the whole time I’m with him and then the minute we part I’m overwhelmed with anxiety.  Was I too forward?  Not forward enough?  What were the rules supposed to be?  Which did I break?

Sometimes when a great guy says the word “kind of” as in “kinds of girls” my stomach churns and I wish I was a lesbian because there aren’t kinds of women any more than there are kinds of people.  Any lines you can draw to tell us apart are going to be deemed useless when you realize we’re closer and farther from each other than you could know.

Men often tell me that they can make a distinction between porn and real women, but I find that a little hard to believe. I would like any dude who uses porn who reads this to do me a favor and think about something: what exactly is the difference between the woman you date, or work with, or know from school, and the woman you last jerked off to? What is it that separates these two “kinds” of women? Is it that one will allow herself to be treated like garbage and one won’t? Is it that one likes to “get fucked” and the other doesn’t? Is it that one is nothing but something to be used and tossed away and the other one is worth treating better than that? Do you conceive of either of them as people you can relate to? Can you understand what it’s like to be either of them?

– Porn Part 4: Half of the Big Picture « Rage Against the Man-chine (via discosherpa)

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