Ready Or Not Here I Come

15 Jan

It’s been a long time since I’ve been in love.

I spend all my time in puddles.  I miss the ocean.

And I really want to do it again.  I’m really ready to do it again.

I am a lover without a lover. I am lovely and lonely and I belong deeply to myself.
– Warsan Shire

And yet, just that much is SO HARD for me to admit.

Does my desire to be in love come hell or whoever mean that I’m not in the right headspace to be in any relationship?  Does the fact that the statement “I want to be in love” makes me nauseous mean that I’m some sort of commitment-phobe?  And, also, I’m afraid that I’ll make myself do this relationship even when it’s a wrong fit, just because I want to be in a relationship.

Just as my lack of peanut allergy has no bearing on whether I’ll like Snickers, my readiness to be in a relationship has no bearing on whether this guy is good for me.

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
– Rumi

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