I have a long running argument with one of my best friends about how to act on early/first dates. She’s a big fan of the ‘be a bit more demure than you are’ and ‘let him open the door for you’ and ‘don’t scare him off with all your crazy.’ I disagree. I tell weird stories about why I have a picture of a penis on my phone and no idea who said penis belongs to. I tell a dude I just met that my parents were married within 4 months of meeting each other. Yeah, I stitched my freak flag into a dress and wear it to every date I go on. I promise.
Somehow though I’ve been unable to tell my friend exactly why I disagree with the conventional cosmo wisdom.
6 Ways To Ace a First Date: Predate, don’t reach out to confirm your plans; let him do that. […] If a man wants to open the door for you, let him. […] There’s no reason to seem too eager. Even if you are, hide it. […] Just be yourself.
*Cliff makes a comment on the hypocrisy of that statement*
There’s a bigger problem here, though. And that problem is that I don’t want to ace a first date. I want to feel out if we’re compatible, and that means I want it to fail if we’re not. If a guy isn’t going to be okay with me calling ahead or opening doors or whatever, I want to know that sooner rather than later and cut our losses.
So there you go. The goal isn’t to get the guy to like you. It’s just to feel each other out. And sometimes that means weeding out the bad fits. Just like clothing auditions for the chance to be in your life, so do boys.
In summation: I win!