THE Sexiest Man Alive?

10 Dec

Today Daily Grace had this to say about People magazine’s announcement of Channing Tatum as the Sexiest Man Alive.

And I’m inclined to agree with her.  Sorry Chan, but I like guys who have necks.  And hair.  And you have neither.

And apparently Mila Kunis is the sexiest woman alive?  And apparently there are questions about that too?  I mean, they both seem nice but I don’t particularly want to hit the sack with either of them.

So I guess my question is why do we bother?  Why do we feel the need to pick one person who supposedly ‘everybody,’ or the majority, or at least a critical mass of people say turn them on?  You know what turns me on?   John Green quotes and boxers with small plaid.  But People magazine isn’t going to ask me about what actually turns me on.  They’re just going to make me feel weird for not being turned on by a blonde, neckless, actor.

My sexiest man alive is, was, and will continue to be (until one isn’t alive anymore) a tie between Pierce Brosnan, Hugh Jackman and Orlando Bloom.  Mmmmm, necks, hair.

Sorry, I had to do some googling in order to spell those names right and so I’m in a bit of a haze now.

My point is that I’m sorry, People/Esquire, but you’re irrelevant.  And your authoritarian claim that you know who is ‘objectively’ the sexiest person ignores the fact that the concept of ‘objectively sexy’ can only apply when we construct a cultural standard of what should be capital-S Sexy and demand that everyone’s libidos react to that and that alone.

Different people find different people sexy.  Why is that so hard to accept?

The world is not full of Attractive People and Unattractive People. It’s full of people who are attractive to some and not to others.

Kate Harding [x]

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