I Miss You Too

22 Nov

This morning on the train someone sat down across from me and he made me miss you.  His stupid spiky hair reminded me of that awful cut you got right before you left.  I smiled and told myself I would call you tonight, but then I forgot because he looked at me and I had to try very hard to look away and not be weird.

At work someone took my chair and I wanted nothing more than to sit in a hallway with you and cry over how invisible I feel all the time.  And then I remembered that last time we spoke you said you feel that way too and I told myself to call you tonight, but then I went back to work and I forgot.

Leaving work tonight someone hugged me and it reminded me of how your shoulder used to dig into my throat when you hugged me and it hurt but I didn’t want to let you go so I just ignored the pain and enjoyed your warmth and then told you after the hug was over so you would hug me again, gentler and slower this time.  I told myself to call you on the walk to the train but then I got a text message and forgot.

I watched the ending of The First Wives Club tonight on TV and the final scene where they sing reminded me of singing with you in the street and you being scared we’d get hit by a car but I told you I’m a New Yorker and we don’t get hit.  I meant to call you, but then I forgot.

When I feel alone I remember how often I think fondly of people without telling them.  And it makes me think that people think of me and then just forget to call me too.

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