Why You Got Dumped

21 Sep

I finally got around to watching Emily Hartridge’s “10 Reasons Why” He Dumped You video and I also just subscribed because she’s adorable and has a great sense of humor.

I have a motto when dealing with other people’s feelings.  I assume that the person who I’m dealing with feels the same way about me as I do about them.  Of course this isn’t always true but it’s a good starting point.

Think about it, when you meet someone at a bar you’re thinking “Who is this person and do I like them?”  Right?  Cause that’s exactly what I’m thinking about you!  See, it works!

Of course it doesn’t always work.  That’s why we use our words, but it’s a good way to get the conversation started.  “I’m thinking this about Us.  What are you thinking?  Is it the same?”

Nonetheless, sometimes when someone says they don’t want to be with me I’m left wondering

And then I have to go back and remember my reasons for not wanting to be with people in the past.

So here’s my list of why you aren’t getting called back.

And I should be clear that these don’t really apply to serious, loving relationships.  If you went out with someone one or two or three times and they never called you back, then here’s why.

  1. There was no spark.  When we met I thought “You’re so cool!  If I just hang out with you enough then the crush will set in and I’ll enjoy this kissing as much as you seem to.”  Then it didn’t.
  2. You refused to be sober in my presence.  That’s expensive and impractical.
  3. You’re too young to drink.   Awkward.
  4. You bored me too death and didn’t even notice.  You spent all our time together talking about your weird toe shoes and didn’t care that I fell asleep in the middle of it.  Seriously, how can you be surprised I don’t want to go out with you again?
  5. Your favorite quality of mine is that I have a vagina and I’ll let you see it.  I’m bored.
  6. You’re a republican actor.
  7. You negged me.
  8. I disagree with your taste in everything.  You like trance music.  What?
  9. We didn’t laugh once.
  10. Pro-life.  Seriously.  Grounds for immediate expulsion.

Just watch this video which will explain everything and make you laugh really hard.

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