Poor Baby, My Heart Bleeds For You

22 Jul

On the very fancy and reliable news website, PerezHilton.com, I found this little gem the other day.

Matthew McConaughey’s Magic Mike Manscaping Was No Fun

Accompanied by this delightful little picture that has no purpose in this blog post other than being aesthetically pleasing.

Apparently McConaughey had this to say about his one and only wax-on-wax-off experience.

“It was like 7:30 in the morning, I go down there, we’re in Hollywood, and I go to this little place in the strip mall. And the place is called Smile… There’s this Russian woman in there, and she’s just as formal as you could be: ‘In the back, clothes off, lay down, turn over!’

“If you don’t have to do it, don’t ever do this… She’s pouring this glue and stuff all over you, and you’re sitting there and you’re giggling, and all the sudden she lays something on you . . .and it hurts! It does hurt!… And the thing is, after every time she waxed off whatever hair she’s pulling, she says, ‘So sorry, so sorry, so sorry.’ So you just giggle through the tears and hope you only got to do it once.”

I like Matthew McConaughey.  Mostly I like him when he’s naked, quiet and I don’t have to spell his last name.

All I can say though is “Really?  REALLY?!”  You’ve had one.  One single waxing experience and it was so traumatic?  Does your fancy, pretty, famous wife wax?  I’m gonna say probably (I have absolutely no idea but I’d say there’s about a 50/50 chance.  They live in California after all).

I’m also going to estimate that at least  75% of the actresses and models you see or work with every day have had at least one waxing experience in their lives.  And yes, it hurts, but it’s expected and so we do it.  For you!

I’m so sorry you had to have the hair ripped off your body once.  Now go out and pay a little respect to all the women who have had it ripped off their vulvas regularly and don’t complain to you about it.

One Response to “Poor Baby, My Heart Bleeds For You”

  1. Hunter July 23, 2012 at 11:17 am #

    Ha! Great post, and true that. A little waxing never hurt anyone.

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