Are You Sure You Don’t Hate Your Face?

16 Jul

And every day, the world will drag you by the hand, yelling “This is important! And this is important! And this is important! You need to worry about this! And this! And this!”

And each day, it’s up to you, to yank your hand back, put it on your heart and say “No. This is what’s important.” [x]

There’s a beauty blog that I read (yeah, I’m a feminist and I read a beauty blog.  Put that in your pipe and smoke it haters!) where people send in questions and Miss Jane Marie answers them to the best of her ability while also being extremely funny and awesome.

Often I go to stores like Sephora (or Victorias Secret or really any store ever) and am overcome with a wave of nausea that repeats the following phrase in my ear: You will never be pretty enough.  You are faking at this whole being a woman thing.  Quit.  Go home and cry because you are ugly and will die alone!

I know you think I’m joking.  I’m really not.

When my old actress roommate took me to Bare Essentials and plopped me down at the counter with a starter kit and a bottle of primer I had to have the sales lady explain to me what primer is, how to use it and why.  She thought I was crazy because on the outside I’m a grown ass woman even though on the inside I have NO CLUE what that means.

Nonetheless now I have an idea of what primer is even though truthfully I don’t notice a difference whether I wear it or not and to be honest haven’t worn it in months.  I’m lucky if I remember to put on moisturizer before I take 20 minutes to apply my eyeliner.

In this probably hairpin article someone asked “Do I need primer?  Do I also need eye primer?  I’ve even seen primer for my primer.  Help!” to which probably Jane replied:

Do you notice during the day that your make up doesn’t stay on as well as you’d like it to?  Does it get all up in your creases and become a nuisance?  If the answer is No then No, you don’t need any of this stuff.

Primers (and in my opinion soy and slimfast bars and a zillion other products) are sold with the fear that you need more beauty-producing-agents in your life.  The truth is that if you look how you want to look then you don’t need primers.  If you like your eyelashes then DO NOT buy mascara!  If money wasn’t an obstacle then you could alter your appearance infinitely.  But would you like it any better?

You can layer on the mascara under the impression that more lashes always equals better.  But would it really?  Would you really feel prettier?  Would you feel any better?  Or happier?

You do not need every product under the sun.

The people who sell us things see an easy mark.  You need concealer, you need spanx, you need anti-perspirant (even though it has aluminum in it, that doesn’t really matter anyway right?).

Unless something bothers you, don’t let any amount of advertising, beautiful sales ladies or media bully you into changing it.  If you can manage in this world to love a piece of yourself, hold it fast.

4 Responses to “Are You Sure You Don’t Hate Your Face?”

  1. BroadBlogs July 17, 2012 at 4:26 pm #

    Yeah, making us feel bad about ourselves (we’ll never look like a VC model or a covergirl — who’ve been photoshopped so the models don’t either) so that we’ll buy stuff.

    Works really well.

  2. Kati July 18, 2012 at 12:40 am #

    Are you a Pinner?! I’m a Pinner. I don’t read all of the beauty stuff, but when I need to know something beauty-related, I check out what Jane and the commenters are saying. They keep it real, just like you.

    • Female Gazing July 18, 2012 at 10:08 am #

      I’m a total pinner. I’m subscribed on Google Reader so even if I don’t read everything they post I see it all. Love it so much!

      • Kati July 19, 2012 at 12:01 am #

        Me too 🙂 I go on there almost every day. It’s so free of bullshit, so full of delightful and/or ponderous things.

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