Kristen Stewart

22 Jun

Why so much hatred for Kristen Stewart?

I’ve been dragged to the first Twilight movie and based on that performance she might be the worst actress in the world.  But to be honest the shiny boy she’s dating was just as bad and he doesn’t get the same kind of flack.

So why does everyone hate her so much?  And I must point out, when I say everyone I mostly mean women.

If we can admit that she’s really pretty–and yes I’m admitting it.  However much you hate her, she’s really pretty.  Somehow we have no problem admitting that

and

are pretty and yet we hem and haw over

Kristen who looks kind of like their depressed, shampoo challenged sister.

Come on guys, girl is beautiful.

So what makes this pretty little starlet different?

You could say that Alexis and Allison are better actors.  They probably are but let’s just keep in mind that the one role that shaped our entire view of Kristen was…not a whole lot to work with.

Why do I think everyone hates her?  Thank you for asking.

Yeah, that looks about right.  Jealous?

(P.S. that make up team really likes giving him a square jaw, not that I mind)

I mean, I’d still rather Topher Grace but I wouldn’t kick this kid out of bed for eating cracker either.

Somehow seething masses of tween girls can watch this couple ‘act’ worse than a couple of dead horses and they come away cursing her name and carrying posters of him for their bedroom walls.

That’s not very sisterhoodly of them.

So here you go Kristen.  As my token of sisterhood for today I say congratulations on your job.  A quick google search reveals you don’t have a Bachelors degree.  Maybe you should move to Pittsburgh and beef up your skills for the next four years.  Also, buy some shampoo.

Other than that, I’m glad to see you so happy, making a decent living and getting to have sex with this bag of sexy on my behalf.  Kiss the pointy part of that jaw for me and go to sleep thankful for all you have tonight.  I wish you all the best.

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