Guest Post – Now I Wonder How Whatsername Has Been

18 Jun

So it seems like lately my friends have been having frustrating experiences with men and they turn to me and I say ‘Write me a guest post.  The catharsis is fantastic!’  Ergo:

A letter to all men,

I don’t need to be manipulated to sleep with you.  I don’t need to hear that I am the most beautiful woman you have ever met when I’m the one who put on my big girl pants and picked you up.  I don’t need you to make promises you can’t keep about your feelings for me after I pointed you out to my friend and said “I want that one tonight.”  I don’t need to hear that you’ll call me on Sunday when I spent Saturday night climbing on top of your sexy strangerness.

So please before you insist I believe your empty promises, before you spend your energy trying to convince me that this isn’t the one night stand that I was perfectly content with it being, realize that I chose this.  I decided that I didn’t mind having a one night stand because, to be honest, your hair is beautiful but you don’t seem to have much to say.

I never thought I was the most beautiful woman you have ever been with, I never thought I would ever speak to you again.  Until YOU made me believe it. YOU stared right into my eyes and pleaded for me to believe you. And so, against my better judgement, I did.  I allowed myself to imagine seeing you again, I let my guard down.  I even let myself get excited about it.  And you’ve succeeded in making me feel like a fool. So please next time, please just be honest, you’ll succeed in being a good person, and you’ll probably get laid anyway.

My warmest regards,
Ms. Charlotte Vale

Sometimes I wonder if men just don’t trust us when we say that we’re cool with ‘what this is.’  If we’re doing something casual and I say I’m OK with that then please just trust me that I know my own mind.

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