Mr. Valenti is Andrew Golis, Thanks Wikipedia.

8 Apr

I need to write something about a guy I just met even though I know he’s reading this.  Oh well.  He’ll have to blush and get over it.

A few weeks ago I wrote a post called The Purity Myth which got an overwhelming reaction (thanks!).  In it I quoted one of my very best friends, LillianLemoning:

Jessica Valenti (if I remember correctly) has a significant other. The most painful argument that feminists receive is the idea that sure, you can be a bitch, but you’ll be alone. What we forget is that there are men like Mr. Valenti (whoever he may be) and Ryan Gosling and Bill Clinton and my father (and [name removed to protect the innocent], swoon) who get it. Who really, really get it. The other myth they’ve created is that those men are extinct, or that they were never there in the first place. But they are and they’re turned on by smart, powerful, kind women who are sexual and enjoy sex. Every man like that, that there is is a battle against patriarchy that we won. Look, Rick Perry, Ryan Gosling is a feminist and he doesn’t have to be, but he is. He wants women to enjoy sex and he knows feminist theory! That’s hopeful to me because it’s one thing for the oppressed minority to say they’re being oppressed and it’s another to have members of the oppressors look around and say “No. This is bullshit.”

So a way to fight back is to Lysistrata that shit. Decide that you’re not sleeping with a man who doesn’t value both your personhood and your sexuality.

While I was writing that post I got really depressed (something I don’t have much of a history of doing) about the state of the world and myself and those words pulled me out of it and gave me hope again.  Since then I have tried to “Lysistrata that shit.”  My body is for people who respect my rights and no one else.

And I just had to say that I met someone the other day that is a Mr. Valenti, a Ryan Gosling, a LillianLemoning’s dad.  The point is they’re not extinct, they do exist.  Have hope.

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