Why I’d Be Glad If My Daughter Was Watching James Deen

15 Mar

I recently started following porn star James Deen on twitter, reading articles about him and watching videos of him… being interviewed on ABC (Hi Mom!).  Oh, and watching him smack ladies around a little bit, but that goes without saying.

The Nightline segment makes Deen sound like the black mold lurking in your bathroom poisoning your family, an invisible threat, killing your children.

In fact I think James Deen is one of the most positive sexual influences your teenage daughter can have.

“I’ve been into rough sex pretty much my whole sexual life and so I’m not, like, bad at it,” Mr. Deen told me by phone last month, on his 26th birthday.“I don’t know how to say it without being a hideous prick, but I’m pretty good at having rough sex. It got to the point where a lot of girls who aren’t into that type of sex were afraid to work with me because they thought I was going to slap them in the face or something. But I only do that if the girl is into it. There’s no reason to choke somebody if they don’t like getting choked. Then you’re basically being an asshole.” [x]

I’d rather my daughter sneak around tumblr looking for gif’s of James Deen and explore her sexuality and desires with him than profess her love for Chris Brown.

Reason 1: If you develop an obsession with James Deen you start to google around for actual information about him as a person and then when you read interviews with him you realize that he’s actually a sex-positive feminist.

Reason 2: James Deen is a Jew and instilling a love for James Deen in my daughter means that she’ll look for other Jewish looking fellas – Ta Da Jewish grandbabies!

Reason 3: When James Deen is ‘working’ he is the physical embodiment of consent culture.  He is the most attentive partner a teenage girl is likely to see in this world.  In most of his videos this is visible in his continuing to do whatever fabulous thing he’s doing at his lady’s enthusiastic-consent-eyes/breathing/nod/whatever, but you always get the feeling that if she winced for just a moment he would stop the action no matter what the director said.

Reason 4: Kink.  James Deen likes (and is damn good at) rough sex.  What better way to explore what turns your crank than by watching Mr. Consent show someone a really great time.

Yes, I’d rather my daughter idolize Porn Star James Deen than Christian Bale, Nicolas Cage, Mel Gibson, or Bill Cosby.

Please, Nightline, join my team.

As far as the objection that legal minor/preteen/single digit is ‘too young’ to be viewing porn I’ll leave you with what my mother used to tell me when I was a kid:  “If young people want to have sex, they’re going to have sex and there’s nothing you can do about it.”  Same goes for watching porn.

Edit: This post was written in March of 2012 (before the 2015 rape allegations). Updated thoughts and feelings are available here.

24 Responses to “Why I’d Be Glad If My Daughter Was Watching James Deen”

  1. feministsub March 15, 2012 at 12:50 am #

    Here, here! You said it much more succinctly than I did. I should point out, though, that I didn’t actually interview Mr. Deen (I wish!). You’re not the first one to link to my post as an interview, so maybe I should clear that up.

  2. Kaptions April 11, 2012 at 10:42 pm #

    I just found something that would be a good read for you: http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2011/11/17/porn_that_women_like_why_does_it_make_men_so_uncomfortable_.html which I really like re: addressing the sexist complications inherent in the porn industry–from a consumer side.

  3. Hunter April 17, 2012 at 12:32 pm #

    James Deen is so great! I wish there were more porn stars like him! Thanks for the right on post!

  4. thesweetmaris May 26, 2012 at 12:50 pm #

    There was an article in Newsweek a few years ago about how a lot teen girls don’t know what they like sexually, but perform whatever guys want so that they’ll like them. I remember thinking that our society is so uncomfortable with women owning their sexuality, that we never really encourage them to discover what THEY like they way we encourage men.

    I know a lot of people in the NIghtline segment were up in arms that their daughters were viewing porn, but would they feel the same if it were their sons? I don’t think so. I think the old adage “boys will be boys,” would be tossed around and then they’d move on.

    I think it’s important that we encourage young women to develop their sexual autonomy. James Deen is a great resource.

    • lina101101 December 2, 2015 at 12:39 pm #

      Lol god you’re an irresponsible idiot.

      • Inez Jane December 2, 2015 at 2:01 pm #

        You lack reading comprehension skills, and the ability to frame your comments to promote a productive discussion.
        Move along, troll.

  5. sffse June 12, 2012 at 11:35 am #

    There are plenty of good-looking young Jewish actors: Logan Lerman, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Anton Yelchin, Alden Ehrenreich, James Wolk, Andrew Garfield, etc. I would say Lerman is the best looking actor of his generation, and he is as Jewish as they get. Why resort to a porn star as a role model?

    • Carrie (@CarrieRae7) September 26, 2012 at 7:25 pm #

      Because porn stars are sex positive & are not ashamed of their bodies or desires. Watching porn is also a very healthy & safe way to satisfy your desire. No STDs, no pregnancy, etc. James Deen himself is a great role model, he inspired me to learn more about myself sexually, & not be ashamed of my sexuality. Having a porn star for a role model, is not “resorting” or “settling.” Many porn stars are amazing people, & are worth looking up to.

      • thesweetmaris September 27, 2012 at 12:03 am #

        Agreed! Another thing is, he also promotes safe sex in his personal life and has done PSAs about the importance of using protection.

      • Will March 30, 2013 at 5:07 am #

        James Deen literally gets paid to physically abuse and simulate rape with young women. It doesnt matter if they “pretend” to be “into it”. Thats the same excuse all abusers give. And most female porn stars are NOT willing participants, they are coerced into the business with financial woes, drug addictions, and threats of violence. Shame on you for wanting to expose your daughter to that, someone should be calling Child Protective Services on you. And whats with the Jew-fetishism? Seems racist as hell.

        • geee April 19, 2013 at 12:43 pm #

          Yeah, I hope her daughter brings home Irish actor Chris O’Dowd, who is a spitting image of Deen. And then they can raise her grandchildren Irish Catholic. That’s tell her for peddling this nonsense about “Jewish-looking porn stars” (gross).

  6. Dryad May 17, 2013 at 5:12 am #

    Heres the kind of stuff your “Feminist” hero James Deen is into: http://www.redtube.com/312795

    He makes the Steubenville football team look like Gloria Steinem. Anyone who would be “glad” her daughter was into that is human scum, and probably a child abuser. So congrats, youve turned Feminism into a sham!

  7. Natalia March 29, 2014 at 2:57 am #

    This article was nice until I saw the put down of chris brown. Yes we are all aware of his abuse towards Rihanna but most are blind to the fact that she forgave him and he learned the error of his ways. How can you uplift a man who participates in the constant degradation of women and then put down one who hasn’t done anything to ultimately effect the female populous? This article is absurd and trash. Not even to mention the ever so obvious appraise the white man got at the beginning and the black man’s put down. If we are going to compare fairly let’s talk about how a member of the Beatles, I believe John Lennon? Best his wife. But no let’s continue to bash a man who took his punishment in stride instead of talking bout some real shit. If you gon spill teas spill ALL the truth teas.

  8. synikkal May 9, 2015 at 4:35 am #

    You said it right, sister! I am obsessed with James Deen since two days ago after I learned his name and watched most of his vid clips (every chance I get!). He is my dream MAN. I’ve watched alot of porn mostly for the genre, like teens, anal or big c*cks… but James Deen is something else. I am in love with him and its funny how he’s not even muscular or tall or tanned like most of male pornstars are. It’s the way he always makes the girl comes first and his attentiveness to his partner’s reaction on camera.

    Now, I dare say.. Ryan Gosling..who? huh? James Deen is the love of my life now.

    – Mint

  9. zodak December 1, 2015 at 11:25 am #

    lol, male feminists are the best, amirite!

    • Female Gazing December 2, 2015 at 1:33 pm #

      Update here.

      • Jau December 5, 2015 at 4:15 am #

        Memorize this:
        Actors of fully Jewish background: Logan Lerman, Natalie Portman, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Mila Kunis, Bar Refaeli, James Wolk, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Julian Morris, Adam Brody, Esti Ginzburg, Kat Dennings, Gabriel Macht, Erin Heatherton, Odeya Rush, Anton Yelchin, Paul Rudd, Scott Mechlowicz, Lisa Kudrow, Lizzy Caplan, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Gal Gadot, Debra Messing, Robert Kazinsky, Melanie Laurent, Shiri Appleby, Justin Bartha, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Margarita Levieva, Elizabeth Berkley, Halston Sage, Seth Gabel, Corey Stoll, Mia Kirshner, Alden Ehrenreich, Debra Winger, Eric Balfour, Jason Isaacs, Jon Bernthal, William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy.

        Andrew Garfield and Aaron Taylor-Johnson are Jewish, too (though I don’t know if both of their parents are).

        Actors with Jewish mothers and non-Jewish fathers: Jake Gyllenhaal, Dave Franco, James Franco, Scarlett Johansson, Daniel Day-Lewis, Daniel Radcliffe, Alison Brie, Eva Green, Joaquin Phoenix, River Phoenix, Emmy Rossum, Rashida Jones, Jennifer Connelly, Sofia Black D’Elia, Nora Arnezeder, Goldie Hawn, Ginnifer Goodwin, Amanda Peet, Eric Dane, Jeremy Jordan, Joel Kinnaman, Ben Barnes, Patricia Arquette, Kyra Sedgwick, Dave Annable, Ryan Potter.

        Actors with Jewish fathers and non-Jewish mothers, who themselves were either raised as Jews and/or identify as Jews: Ezra Miller, Gwyneth Paltrow, Alexa Davalos, Nat Wolff, Nicola Peltz, James Maslow, Josh Bowman, Winona Ryder, Michael Douglas, Ben Foster, Jamie Lee Curtis, Nikki Reed, Zac Efron, Jonathan Keltz, Paul Newman.

        Oh, and Ansel Elgort’s father is Jewish, though I don’t know how Ansel was raised. Robert Downey, Jr. and Sean Penn were also born to Jewish fathers and non-Jewish mothers. Armie Hammer and Chris Pine are part Jewish.

        Actors with one Jewish-born parent and one parent who converted to Judaism: Dianna Agron, Sara Paxton (whose father converted, not her mother), Alicia Silverstone, Jamie-Lynn Sigler.


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