You’re The One To Blame It’s Your Fault

22 Jan

This article just popped into my life the other day and I haven’t been able to get it out of my head.

It’s about how Chris Browns fans not only forgive him for being a domestic abuser but blame Rihanna for what happened.

Honestly I don’t think I can name a single Chris Brown song.  That’s not to say that he doesn’t make good music.  Maybe he does.  I just don’t care to listen to it.  Partly because he’s an abusive hole and partly because I’m very happy with my Frank Sinatra and don’t need more of that loud modern music in my life.

None of this matters of course.  Let’s get to the stuff that does.

Outside of a Chris Brown concert in Baltimore this past fall, almost a dozen teens interviewed still held some troubling views about “the [Rihanna] incident.”

“Obviously she played a part in getting beat, or whatever,” said 19-year-old Kristina Coleman. “However you want to put it.”

And she wasn’t alone in her opinion. Several other teenagers in the crowd outside 1st Mariner Arena made similar remarks, forgiving Brown and blaming Rihanna, but they were too young to be named or quoted in this story.

Two things make these young women’s views surprising. First, Brown has apologized for the incident, denouncing his behavior on national television and in a widely viewed YouTube video.

But outside of that Chris Brown concert, these things weren’t on fans’ minds. Alicia Robinson, 17, was among the fans who go beyond just forgiving Brown and blaming Rihanna.

“He’s kind of what we would like our boyfriends to model after, in a way,” Robinson said.

Did everybody catch that last bit?  Where teenage girls want their boyfriends to beat them up and then blame them for it?  Did everybody catch how this is what the media we create teaches our daughters. That they should want to be with someone who turns them into this:

And that it’s her own fault?  This is a picture of the victim.  Not the person who should be blamed.

For more examples of how our society likes to blame women for things that they are actually victims of:

15. Girls love being tied up . . . it gives them the chance to be the helpless victim.

16. I think girls are like plasticine, if you warm them up you can do anything you want with them.[x]

Let’s say I see a woman and she looks really pretty and really clean and sexy and she’s giving off very feminine, sexy vibes. I think, wow I would love to make love to her, but I know she’s not interested. It’s a tease. A lot of times a woman knows that she’s looking really good and she’ll use that and flaunt it and it makes me feel like she’s laughing at me and I feel degraded…

If I were actually desperate enough to rape somebody it would be from wanting that person, but also it would be a very spiteful thing, just being able to say ‘I have power over you and I can do anything I want with you’ because really I feel that they have power over me just by their presence. Just the fact that they can come up to me and just melt me makes me feel like a dummy, makes me want revenge.

Why is this acceptable?  Oh, right, IT’S NOT!  Blame for rape and abuse lies squarely in the hands of the rapist or abuser and nowhere else.  Ever.  Even if the abused picked a fight.  Even if the victim dressed like Kim Kardashian(and lets not forget that sometimes the rapist/abuser isn’t a man).

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