Advice – Your Vagina Is Perfect Just The Way It Is

22 Dec

I am a multi-orgasmic twenty-nine-year-old bisexual woman who generally dates males. I can have strong and multiple orgasms simply from penetration. They usually start off small (but still rad) and in waves, but there really isn’t any orgasm-level predictor. My problem is: after reading so many articles and things about women who regularly fake orgasms, I worry my partner or partners will think I’m being a big ol’ faker, even though I’m basically shaking and can’t make words. I’m also an occasional squirter, but I’m totally fine with it and most of my partners have been too. But I’m growing self-conscious about my frequent orgasms, because a past partner accused me of faking, and I don’t want people I’m fucking to think I’m manufacturing or exaggerating my pleasure.

I actually have met someone who I think I could start an amazing relationship with, but I fear he’ll be skeptical as well. I can’t find a damn thing on the internet other than cheesy-looking self-help sex books about how to have multiples. What’s a girl to do? Help!

— Tell Me About My Vagina or Something

What can I tell you about your vagina?  I can tell you that every vagina is different.  For example apparently your vagina is very different from mine.  The important question in your question isn’t ‘why is my vagina broken?’ because your vagina is very very far from broken.  The right question isn’t a question at all.  It’s just an insecurity.  You’re insecure that he’ll think something is wrong with you because the viagra advertisers/internet/porn/previous insecure partners have rubbed their insecurity off on you.

I (and other advice-giving people) put a lot of emphasis on communication before, during and after sex (and ahem, a zillion other activities in your life, ice skating for example) but an accusation of faking isn’t the form that communication should be in.  Accusations lead to insecurities that ruin your sex life.

I’m pretty sure that if your body does a %1000 awesome freak out every time you come that this new boyfriend isn’t going to think you’re faking (unless he’s an insecure bag of slop of course).  And if you’re really worried that he will/has, mention it “Holy Moses that rocked my world.  Are you sure you don’t mind that I accidentally bit a piece of your shoulder off?  My friends are so jealous of me, they need toys but my vagina is a magical orgasmic machine.  I guess we’re both just lucky ducks.” That should suffice.

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