Gosh It’s Cramped Here In This Mold

8 Dec

I read an article the other day in which the writer who prefers to be ‘bare down there’ dared herself to grow out a “70’s bush.”

You can find the original article here.

On the whole, I think the article didn’t say much novel, except the following.

In the end, I don’t think it matters much how you wear your pubic hair, and I will be shaving mine off within seconds of hitting “save” on this post. What’s important is thinking about the reasons why we want our reproductive organs to to resemble the lunar surface, or why we don’t.

Oh, and let other people make those decisions for themselves without ridicule or judgment. That means no “Ewwww gross, pubez!!!!” and also, no insinuating that preferring a shaved look is akin preferring sex with children. I’m not a child, I’m an adult woman who shaves her pubic hair, and there is nothing child-like about my naked body.

She also says something wonderful:

…my story is one of childhood trauma and lack of sexual boundaries leading to an insecure woman who pretzels herself into the mold best masturbated to.

Growing up as we do now with non-stop access to images of ‘vajazzling’ and other faux-perfect lady-bits, we’re more inclined to spend our time and energy on Sally Hansen waxing kits and Bare Minerals foundations.  And when your eyes are opened to the patriarchy all around you it’s easy to feel guilty for knowingly making a patriarchal bargain.  But before you despair too much, remember.

There’s this idea that those of us who have intentionally or unintentionally “opted in” to societal concepts of sex and beauty are somehow choosing the easier path, that resisting is going to “make for a much harder life,” as Jess put its in her choice feminism piece. But if that were true, porn stars and strippers would be the happiest people on Earth. Trying to compete in the world of  “patriarchy-approved” activities is just as painful as rejecting them, I promise you that. It’s a damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don’t system.

Making the patriarchal bargain like Tila or Kim can in some ways make life easier but as long as you’re under the same patriarchal thumb you’re still going to be damned.

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