It’s 20:20

26 Nov

I read a great article on one of my favorite sites thehairpin.com lately and it really resonated with me.

The Magic Trick

It outlines the authors short affair with a married french man.  She has an affair with a man and when she has to imagine him leaving she becomes very upset at the thought of this nice man leaving her life.  But then she realizes that while he is wonderful for right now, he’s not permanently wonderful and she should let him go.

The truth began to dawn on me. This is a nice man. It’s nice to be comforted by a nice man. And that calmed me down to the point where, as he stroked my hair, I asked myself, did I love this guy? Honestly? Tell the truth. No, I didn’t. I liked him, but did I really want to keep him forever? God, no, I told myself, look at him! He’s 35 years old and dresses like one of the Three Musketeers! He has long fingernails, which he likes to put varnish on. These were little quirks I’d never asked about or thought to object to, reasoning that he wasn’t mine, so let him do whatever he wants, right? Nobody’s going to think I’m dressing him, after all. I’m not his wife!

…I hadn’t suddenly lost my interest and desire for him. I’d simply realized there was no need to overindulge. A four-month romantic interlude was pleasant — perfect, even. Five minutes more than that might lead to despair.

It’s an important lesson.  Sometimes people are perfect for right now.  They’re nice people.  They occupy an important position in your life.  You learn important things from them.  But it’s important to remember that they are occupying that place in your life and are not indeed your soul mate.  Because these are important people you don’t want to hurt.

Self-awareness…yum.  Hindsight, eh?

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